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| Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn't long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones had almost a 100% record for insurance sales, which had never happened before. Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in the back of the room and listened to Jones's sales pitch. Jones explained the basics of the GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said: "If you have GI Insurance and go into battle and are killed, the government has to pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries. If you don't have GI insurance, and you go into battle and get killed, the government only has to pay a maximum of $6000." "Now," he concluded, "which bunch do you think they are going to send into battle first?" |    |
Joke by niggers out, in Illness and mortality > A Man Was...... - Tagged insurance , army , captain , gi , battle , war - Current Score: 78 - Added: 9 months, 21 days ago
| If honesty is the best policy, why is my car insurance so fucking expensive? | |
Joke by baldlice, in Illness and mortality > Insurance - Tagged insurance , policies , car , honesty - Current Score: 77 - Added: 2 months, 27 days ago
| Someone calls Admiral insurance every 6 seconds for a quote. What a nutter. | |
Joke by JesusOfWatford, in Jokes with no home > Jimmy Carr - Tagged admiral , insurance , nutter - Current Score: 39 - Added: 1 month, 21 days ago
| After Mr. O'Toole's barn burned down, he called the insurance agent to file a claim. He told the insurance man, "We had that barn insured for fifty thousand bucks, and we need that money immediately!" "Just a minute there, Mr. O'Toole," the agent replied. "Insurance doesn't work quite like that." "What do you mean?!" he said. "The policy here says $50,000!" "That's a maximum," the insurance man said. "What we do is will ascertain the value of what was insured, and then provide you with a new one of comparable worth." After a long pause, he replied "That's how insurance works?" "Absolutely," the agent said. "Well then," he said, "I'd like to cancel the policy on my wife immediately!" | |
Joke by niggers out, in Illness and mortality > Insurance - Tagged wife , policy , insurance , agent - Current Score: 26 - Added: 7 months, 29 days ago
| Injured at work? Want to sue your boss? Then fuck off to America. | |
Joke by Razza, in Illness and mortality > Injury - Tagged injury , insurance , compensation , america - Current Score: 23 - Added: 2 months, 14 days ago
| I insured my car last week with the super-duper-ooper comprehensive plan provided by my local insurance firm, this fucker insures against EVERYTHING except acts of God... ...Imagine my surprise, shock and horror when I discovered Jesus had keyed the driver side of my car and shat in the fucking petrol tank | |
Joke by Duplicate, in Religion and racism > God - Tagged jesus , act of god , insurance - Current Score: 15 - Added: 1 month, 6 days ago
| What do you get if you cross a paki with a nigger? A shit driver with no insurance! | |
Joke by killo, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged nigger , paki , insurance - Current Score: 10 - Added: 2 months, 2 days ago
| When do you know niggers have moved to your neighbourhood? The Paki's get motor insurance! | |
Joke by Gobshite, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged niggers , paki , insurance - Current Score: 8 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| Two Jewish businessmen meet in the street. "Oy, Abraham, I'm sorry to hear about that fire at your warehouse". "Ssh!" hisses the other, "It's not till next week". | |
Joke by immortalshadow666, in Sex and shit > Adultery - Tagged jew , insurance - Current Score: 4 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| I work for an insurance company and the other day the man from the local sex shop came in and started masturbating in the middle of the office. I said "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" He said "Well, you come into my place and start talking about insurance!" | |
Joke by Guest, in Sex and shit > Sex shop - Tagged sex shop , insurance - Current Score: 1 - Added: 8 months, 13 days ago
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