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| The Zutons' bass player, Russell, mentioned once in an interview that he liked Maltesers and, at his next gig, he was bombarded with Maltesers. Well, I happen to know that Ronan Keating is a shit and daggers man. |    |
Joke by JesusOfWatford, in Jokes with no home > Musicians - Tagged shit , ronan keating , zutons , interview , daggers , never mind the buzzcocks , simon amstel - Current Score: 111 - Added: 1 month, 27 days ago
| NEWSFLASH West Midlands Police announced tonight that they wish to interview a man wearing high heels, stockings, suspenders and crotchless knickers in connection with an armed robbery. The Chief Constable has said they must wear their normal uniforms though. | |
Joke by staffer, in Jokes with no home > Police - Tagged normal , uniforms , interview , police - Current Score: 72 - Added: 4 months, 26 days ago
| Dave wants a job as a signalman on the railways. He is told to meet the inspector at the signal box for an interview. The inspector asks "What would you do if you realised that two trains were heading for each other on the same track?" Dave says, "I would switch the points for one of the trains." "What if the lever broke?" asked the inspector. "Then I'd dash down out of the signal box," said Dave, "and I'd use the manual lever over there." "What if that had been struck by lightning?" "Then," Dave continues, "I'd run back into the signal box and phone the next signal box." "What if the phone was engaged?" "Well in that case," persevered Dave, "I'd rush down out of the box and use the public emergency phone at the level crossing up there." "What if that was vandalised?" "Oh well then I'd run into the village and get John." This puzzles the inspector, so he asks, "Why would you do that?" "Because that cunt has never seen a train crash." | |
Joke by Gash TL, in Jokes with no home > Trains - Tagged signalman , interview , crash , phone , signal - Current Score: 69 - Added: 15 hours ago
| Frank was in a terrible accident at work. He fell through a floor tile and ripped off both of his ears. Since he was permanently disfigured, he settled with the company for a rather large sum of money and went on his way. One day, Frank decided to invest his money in a small, but growing telecom business. After weeks of negotiations, he bought the company outright. But, after signing on the dotted line, he realized that he knew nothing about running such a business and quickly set out to hire someone who could do that for him. The next day he had set up three interviews. The first guy was great. He knew everything he needed to and was very interesting. At the end of the interview, Frank asked him, "Do you notice anything different about me?" And the gentleman answered, "Why yes, I couldn't help but notice, you have no ears." Frank got very angry and threw him out. The second interview was with a woman, and she was even better than the first guy. He asked her the same question, "Do you notice anything different about me?" and she replied: "Well, you have no ears." Frank again was upset and tossed her out. The third and last interview was the best of all three. It was with a very young man who was fresh out of college. He was smart. He was handsome. And, he seemed to be a better businessman than the first two put together. Frank was anxious, but went ahead and asked the young man the same question: "Do you notice anything different about me?" And to his surprise, the young man answered: "Yes. You wear contact lenses." Frank was shocked, and said, "What an incredibly observant young man. How in the world did you know that?" The young man fell off his chair laughing hysterically and replied, "Well, it's pretty hard to wear glasses with no fuckin' ears!" | |
Joke by PALROSS, in Illness and mortality > Accident - Tagged frank , ears , interview , glasses - Current Score: 31 - Added: 1 year ago
| Sadly, Richard was born without any ears, and though he proved to be successful in business, his problem annoyed him greatly. One day he needed to hire a new manager for his company, so he set up three interviews. The first guy was great. He knew everything he needed to know and was very interesting. But at the end of the interview, Richard asked him, "Do you notice anything different about me?" "Why, yes, I couldn't help but notice that you have no ears," came the reply. Richard did not appreciate his candour and threw him out of the office. The second interview was with a woman, and she was even better than the first guy. But he asked her the same question: "Do you notice anything different about me?" "Well," she said stammering, "you have no ears." Richard again got upset and chucked her out in a rage. The third and final interviewee was the best of the bunch, he was a young man who had recently earned his MBA. He was smart. He was handsome, and he seemed to be a better businessman that the first two put together. Richard was anxious, but went ahead and asked the young man the same question: "Do you notice anything different about me?" Much to his surprise, the young man answered, "Yes, you wear contact lenses, don't you?" Richard was shocked and realised this was an incredibly observant person. "How in the world did you know that?", he asked. The young man replied, "Well, it's pretty hard to wear glasses with no fucking ears!" | |
Joke by cj-underhill, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged glasses , ears , contact lenses , interview , job - Current Score: 20 - Added: 7 months, 7 days ago
| Police have reported an excellent response to their photo-fit showing two Chinese men they want to interview in connection with the murder of two fellow countrymen. They said that they had received 5,000,000 calls so far. | |
Joke by justincider, in Religion and racism > Chinese - Tagged police , murder , court , interview , photofit - Current Score: 14 - Added: 3 months, 21 days ago
| Went for an interview at a brittle bone clinic. The interviewer showed me round the building and said 'The job includes £1000 a week, your own personal secretary who is a blonde Nympho, your own Ferrari, 6 months holiday a year and a 6 bedroom mansion, Do you accept this job'? ....I snapped his fucking hand off! | |
Joke by Jaws, in Jokes with no home > Britle Bone Clinic Job - Tagged job , interview - Current Score: 10 - Added: 1 year ago
| I just watched John Lennon's last interview on YouTube. Well, second-to-last interview. His last interview was: 'Mr Lennon?' | |
Joke by ReigatePen, in Celebrity and news events > John Lennon - Tagged john lennon , interview - Current Score: 7 - Added: 3 weeks ago
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