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| A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, "Please, may I hide under your habit? I'll explain later." The nun agreed. A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, "Sister, have you seen a soldier?" The nun replied, "He went that way." After the MP's ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her habit and said, "I can't thank you enough Sister. You see, I don't want to go to Iraq." The nun said, "I understand completely." The soldier added, "I hope I'm not rude, but you have a hairy pair of legs!" The nun replied, "If you'd looked a little higher, you'd have seen a great pair of balls... I don't want to go to Iraq either." |    |
Joke by ht, in Religion and racism > Nuns - Tagged iraq , nun , soldier - Current Score: 296 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| George Bush is being giving his daily briefing. He is told that yesterday three Brazilian soldiers were killed. "OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!" His staff sit stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands. Finally he looks up with a devastated expression on his face and he asks, "How many is a brazillion?' | |
Joke by coathanger, in Celebrity and news events > George Bush - Tagged george bush , iraq - Current Score: 280 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| George Bush spoke out against the invasion of Georgia today saying: "Russia has invaded a sovereign state...such an action is not acceptable in the 21st century." Who said Americans can't do irony? | |
Joke by bleary, in Celebrity and news events > Georgia - Tagged george w bush , georgia , russia , iraq , irony , americans - Current Score: 241 - Added: 3 months, 20 days ago
| George Bush goes to a primary school to talk about the war. After his talk, he offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand and George asked, "What is your name?" "My name is Bob", says the boy. "And what is your question, Bob?" "I have 3 questions. First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, why are you president when al gore got more votes? Third, what happened to Osama bin laden?" Just then, the bell rings for recess. George bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess. When they resume George says, "Ok where were we? Oh, that's right. Question time. Who has a question?" A different little boy raises his hand. George points him out and asked him "what is your name?" "My name is Steve" says the boy. "And what is your question Steve?" "I have 5 questions. First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of UN? Second, why are you president when Al Gore got more votes? Third, what happened to Osama bin laden? Fourth, why did the recess bell go 20 minutes early? Fifth, where is Bob?" | |
Joke by Guest, in Celebrity and news events > George Bush - Tagged george bush , iraq , primary school , children - Current Score: 211 - Added: 10 months, 2 days ago
| FACT There has been a monthly average of 160,000 troops in the Iraq theater of operations during the last 22 months and a total of 2,112 deaths. That gives a firearm death rate of 60 per 100,000 soldiers. The firearm death rate in Washington D.C. is 80.6 per 100,000 persons for the same period. That means that you are about 25% more likely to be shot and killed in the U.S. Capital than you are in Iraq. Conclusion: Maybe its time the U.S. pull out of Washington? | |
Joke by staffer, in Religion and racism > Americans - Tagged washington , iraq , shot - Current Score: 194 - Added: 4 months, 12 days ago
| A journalist goes to Iraq and is surprised to see that the local men allow their wives to walk in front of them. The journalist approaches a local and says, "I thought the custom in Islamic countries was for wives to walk ten paces behind their husbands?" "It was," replied the local, "But that all changed with the war." "How did the war change things?" The journalist enquired. The local replied, "land mines." | |
Joke by cooperman, in Religion and racism > Iraq - Tagged iraq , islamic , war , land mine , war of the worlds - Current Score: 181 - Added: 10 months, 24 days ago
| Rafa Benitez flies to Baghdad to watch a young Iraqi play football and is impressed and arranges for him to come over to England. Two weeks later Liverpool are 4-0 down to Chealsea with only 20 minutes left. The manager gives the young Iraqi striker the nod and on he goes. The lad is a sensation - scores 5 goals in 20 minutes and wins the game for the reds! The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and the media love the new star. When the player comes off the pitch he phones his mum to tell her about his first day in English football. "Hello mum, guess what?" he says. "I played for 20 minutes today, we were 4-0 down but I scored 5 and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the media, they all love me. It's wonderful!" "Wonderful?! " says his mum, "Let me tell you about my day. "Your father got shot and robbed in the street, your sister and I were ambushed, gang raped and beaten and your brother was beheaded by masked men, all while you were having such a wonderful time." The young lad is very upset, "What can I say mum, but I'm so sorry." "Sorry?!! Sorry?!!" says his mum, "It's your bloody fault we moved to Liverpool in the first place!" | |
Joke by ht, in Jokes with no home > Football - Tagged iraq , football , rafa , liverpool , liverpool fc , scousers - Current Score: 142 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| I don't know why everyone says George Bush is stupid. His wars have killed more Americans than any terrorist could ever dream of. | |
Joke by shittychickengangbang, in Celebrity and news events > George Bush - Tagged george bush , war , terrorist , terrorism , iraq - Current Score: 138 - Added: 4 months, 7 days ago
| Paddy and Murphy are in Iraq. Murphy accidentally steps on a landmine. After a big explosion, Murphy's left on the floor, screaming, "Paddy, Paddy, help me, I've lost me legs". Paddy looks and says, "you lying fucker,..... they're over there." | |
Joke by edgarbriggs, in Religion and racism > Irish - Tagged lost , legs , iraq , landmine , quote from battle of goose green - Current Score: 116 - Added: 2 weeks ago
| This war in Iraq certainly does throw up a lot of ethical questions. With Americans on one side and Muslims on the other... who do you support? | |
Joke by Drunken Hobo, in Religion and racism > Taliban - Tagged american , muslim , war , iraq - Current Score: 106 - Added: 3 months, 19 days ago
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