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| One evening a priest was sitting on a pew at the front of his church, quietly praying to the Lord. A hot blonde suddenly came in and the priest asked her, "what can I do for you, my child?" The blonde immediately jumped on him and said, "I want you now! Take me!" "I beg your pardon?" the priest exclaimed. "Fuck me now," she said, "fuck me hard up the ass!" The priest by now was sweating and trembling at the sight of the blonde lifting up her blouse revealing a pair of huge tits. "But, my child, you are in the house of the Lord!" the priest desperately replied. "I don't care, take this horny virgin now you sexy son of a bitch!" the blonde exclaimed finally. The priest, now shaking, sweating terribly and feeling himself go hard, turned towards the front of the church and, looking up to the Lord, he cried "Jesus Christ, help me - what should I do?" "DON'T JUST STAND THERE YOU STUPID IDIOT, GET ME OFF THIS FUCKING CROSS!" he replied. |    |
Joke by mamma mia, in Religion and racism > Jesus - Tagged priest , blonde , tits , jesus , ass - Current Score: 329 - Added: 4 months, 9 days ago
| I know this guy who has a Paki for a neighbour. His name is Mohammed Islam. I mean, for fuck's sake, it's like calling your kid Jesus Christianity | |
Joke by mamma mia, in Sex and shit > Paedophilia - Tagged paki , muslim , jesus , christianity , neighbour - Current Score: 226 - Added: 2 months, 22 days ago
| Christmas is shit. Whoever invented it should be nailed to a cross. | |
Joke by hacienda88, in Religion and racism > Jesus - Tagged christmas , cross , jesus , nailed , xmas - Current Score: 209 - Added: 11 months ago
| Why wasn't Christ born in America? They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin. | |
Joke by kdivers, in Religion and racism > Americans - Tagged american , christmas , america , jesus , christ , jesus christ , wise men , men , virgin - Current Score: 207 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| Jesus once said, "Love thy neighbour." Bet he didn't live on a fucking council estate. | |
Joke by 8 ace, in Religion and racism > Jesus - Tagged jesus , chavs , council estate - Current Score: 201 - Added: 3 months, 17 days ago
| Jesus to the left of me, Moses to the right! Here I am, stuck in the middle of Jews. | |
Joke by donkeyjoker, in Religion and racism > Jews - Tagged jews , jesus , moses , stealers wheel - Current Score: 166 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| If we're all God's children, then what's so special about Jesus? | |
Joke by tenpin_john, in Religion and racism > Christianity - Tagged jesus , god , jimmy carr - Current Score: 151 - Added: 1 year ago
| What did Jesus say to his 12 apostles as he was being nailed to the cross? "Don't touch my fucking Easter eggs, I'll be back on Monday." | |
Joke by stopher, in Religion and racism > Jesus - Tagged jesus , eggs , cross , monday - Current Score: 144 - Added: 6 months, 16 days ago
| Jesus said to Peter "Come forth and I will give you eternal glory." Peter came fifth and won a toaster! | |
Joke by litlmiznice, in Religion and racism > Aborigines - Tagged jesus , st peter - Current Score: 139 - Added: 1 year ago
| An Irishman, Aussie and a Scouser are in a bar and spot Jesus drinking on his own. They each send him a drink over and he sips each one slowly. When he's finished he walks over to the Irishman and shakes his hand and thanks him for the Guiness. "Fuck me, my arthritis has gone!" Jesus then thanks the Aussie for the Fosters. "Fucking hell mate, my bad back's cured!" Jesus approaches the Scouser who runs away screaming, "Fuck off, you cunt - I'm on disability benefit." | |
Joke by cornish_breeze, in Illness and mortality > Disability - Tagged jesus , scouser , scots man , english man , irish man - Current Score: 137 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
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