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| A mother is in the kitchen making supper for her family when her youngest daughter walks in. The child asks, "Mother, where do babies come from? " "Well dear...a mommy and daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their room...they kiss and hug and have sex." The daughter looks puzzled. "That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy's vagina. That's how you get a baby, honey." The daughter replies, "Oh I see, but the other night when I came into you and daddy's room you had daddy's penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?" "Jewellery, dear." |    |
Joke by ht, in Sex and shit > Oral Sex - Tagged jewellery , blow job , mother , daughter - Current Score: 293 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| A woman walks into a high class jewellers. As she's busy admiring some wonderful diamond rings, she lets out a bit of a sloppy fart. Blushing, she hopes that nobody heard her. A moment later, she approaches a sales assistant and asks, "Excuse me sir, but how much is that gorgeous diamond ring?" "Madam, if you farted just looking at it, you're going to shit yourself when I tell you the price..." | |
Joke by swedishpimp, in Jokes with no home > Fart - Tagged jewellers , fart , shit , diamond , jewellery - Current Score: 106 - Added: 7 months, 15 days ago
| My son is three-years-old and I took him shopping. When we got home, he had a chocolate bar in his pocket. Now, I didn't buy it and he certainly didn't buy it, so I marched him straight back to the shopping centre - and went to the jewellers. | |
Joke by staffer, in Jokes with no home > Theft - Tagged jewellery , shopping , chocolate , pocket - Current Score: 97 - Added: 2 months, 26 days ago
| A lady walks into a high class jewellery shop. She browses around and spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely, she inadvertently breaks wind. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up right now. As she turns around, her worst nightmare materialises in the form of a salesman standing right behind her. Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady with "Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?" Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just not have been there at the time of her little "accident", she asks "Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?" Copy Cat He answers," Madam, if you farted just looking at it, you are going to shit yourself when I tell you the price." | |
Joke by the phantom phucker, in Jokes with no home > Fart - Tagged lady , jewellery , diamond , fart , salesman , madam , accident , shit - Current Score: 37 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife? A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewellery. | |
Joke by OhMyActualDays, in Sex and shit > Adultery - Tagged jews , catholics , jewellery - Current Score: 23 - Added: 5 months, 24 days ago
| A guy’s fingering his blonde girlfriend when she says, ''Would you take off your ring? It’s hurting me.'' He says, ''That’s not my ring; it’s my wristwatch.'' | |
Joke by gartnavel, in Sex and shit > Blonde Jokes - Tagged blonde , girlfriend , fingering , ring , jewellery - Current Score: 19 - Added: 1 month, 11 days ago
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