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| Two Englishmen- businessmen in London - were sitting down for a break in their soon-to be new store. As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up. One said to the other, 'I bet any minute now some thick tourist is going to walk by, put his face to the window and ask what we're selling.' No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious Scotsman walked to the window, had a peek, and in a broad Scottish accent asked 'What are you selling' here One of the men replied sarcastically, 'We're selling arse-holes.' Without skipping a beat, the Scotsman said, 'You are doing well ... Only two left!' |    |
Joke by Katherine Boyle, in Religion and racism > Scottish - Tagged sweaty sock , jock , scottish , arseholes , ian pearce - Current Score: 70 - Added: 7 months ago
| "How's the flat you're living in in London, Jock?" asks his mother when he calls home to Aberdeen. "It's OK", he says, "but the woman next door keeps screaming and crying all night, and the guy on the other side keeps banging his head on the wall." "Never you mind," says his mother, "don't you let them get to you, just ignore them." "Aye, that I do," he says, "I just keep playing my bagpipes." | |
Joke by johnboy, in Jokes with no home > Not Sure - Tagged jock , london , crap - Current Score: 23 - Added: 6 months ago
| A Scotsman gets a taxi to take him and his girlfriend home. She's so beautiful...... He can barely keep his eyes on the meter!! | |
Joke by cooperman, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged scots , jock , taxi - Current Score: 15 - Added: 8 months ago
| Two Scots, Archie and Jock, are sitting in the pub discussing Jock's forthcoming wedding. "Och, it's all going magic," says Jock. "I've got everything organised already, the flowers, the church, the cars, the reception, the rings, the minister, even ma stag night." Archie nods approvingly. "Hell, I've even bought a kilt to be married in," continues Jock. "A kilt?" asks Archie. "That's braw, you'll look pure smart in that. What's the tartan?" "Och," says Jock, "I'd imagine she'll just be in white." | |
Joke by stopher, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged scots , jock , wedding , white - Current Score: 12 - Added: 8 months ago
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