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| Girls: If you get a message from your boyfriend saying that he wants to "kick your puppy", don't call the RSPCA... He's just not very good at predictive text. |    |
Joke by Philthy, in Sex and shit > Girlfriend - Tagged lick , pussy , cunnilingus , text , rspca , animal cruelty , puppy , kick - Current Score: 421 - Added: 4 months, 19 days ago
| A Scouser inadvertently goes into a gay bar for a beer. He sits at the bar supping his pint when one gay gentleman decides to chance his luck. He approaches the scouser and whispers something into his ear, whereupon the Liverpudlian turns around in complete disgust and horror and proceeds to punch the living fuck out of the homosexual, fist after fist punching him out the door, kicking him across the pub car park, relentlessly punching and kicking until the victim lay comatose. The Scouser then dusted himself down and calmly returned to his pint at the bar, whilst the horrified staff and clientele stood silent and motionless. Eventually, the barman plucks up the courage to ask what had happened: Barman: "Bloody hell mate. What on earth did he whisper to you?" Scouser: "Dunno, something about a 'job'." | |
Joke by Guest, in Religion and racism > ? - Tagged scouser , homosexual , fight , gay , bar , wanker , liverpool , job , work , gay bar , punch , kick , punched , kicked - Current Score: 352 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| When Jane initially met Tarzan of the Jungle, she was attracted to him, and during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex. "Tarzan not know sex," he replied. Jane explained to him what sex was. Tarzan said, "Oh, Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree." Horrified, she said, "Tarzan you have it all wrong, but I will show you how to do it properly." She took off her clothes and lay down on the ground. "Here," she said. "You must put it in here." Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer with his huge erection, and then gave her an almighty kick right in the cunt. Jane rolled around in agony, but manages to gasp for air and screamed, "What did you do that for?" "Tarzan check for bees." | |
Joke by funkyfrog, in Sex and shit > Cunt - Tagged tarzan , cunt , kick , bees , jungle , jane , sex - Current Score: 151 - Added: 1 year ago
| What is the difference between a football and a three year old? You don't feel the urge to kick footballs in Tesco. | |
Joke by maddys=DEAD, in Jokes with no home > Baby - Tagged football , tesco , kick , baby - Current Score: 115 - Added: 1 month, 25 days ago
| I swept this bird off her feet today. Roundhouse kick to the tits usually does it. | |
Joke by grammer_natzee, in Sex and shit > Sexist - Tagged bird , sexist , kick , roundhouse , tits , feet , woman , man , sexism , grammer_natzee - Current Score: 87 - Added: 2 months, 25 days ago
| In order to promote safe sex the Welsh have started painting the legs of sheep that kick. | |
Joke by stig2112, in Religion and racism > Welsh - Tagged welsh , sheep , kick , safe sex - Current Score: 30 - Added: 2 months, 23 days ago
| A young couple got married, and in their family, it was tradition that the best man dance with the bride for the first song. Well, this happened...but then they danced for the second song too. And the third. By the time the fourth song came on, the groom ran up and kicked the bride between the legs. A riot broke out, and all the invited guests were hauled off to jail.In court the next week, the judge asked the best man what happened.''Your honor, we were just dancing, and the groom ran up and kicked the bride between the legs.''''That must have hurt,'' said the judge.''No kidding,'' said the best man. ''I broke three of my fingers.'' | |
Joke by Zig, in Sex and shit > Adultery - Tagged best man , grom , bride , kick , fingering , broken - Current Score: 2 - Added: 5 months, 29 days ago
appy2be got buried to -7. Reveal Joke
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