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The news. Read it. (Updated: June 25th)
Browsing tag: kid
Sorted by: Highest Scoring | Lowest Scoring | Newest | Oldest

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I just saw that Harry Potter film. A bit unrealistic if you ask me. I mean a ginger kid, with two friends? I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by caliban, in Religion and racism > Ginger - Tagged ginger , harry potter , friends , kid  - Current Score: 703 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago

A policeman came up to me yesterday and said, "so, where were you between four and six?"
I said, "fucking Primary School."
I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by MICK THE MAG, in Jokes with no home > Police - Tagged police , school , kid  - Current Score: 155 - Added: 1 month ago

I entered the Young Musician of the Year last week.

He didn't half scream.
I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by eatmeat, in Sex and shit > Paedophilia - Tagged peadophile , kid , musician , rape  - Current Score: 146 - Added: 8 months ago

What's the worst thing about being a paedophile?

Having to go to bed so early!
I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by AS, in Sex and shit > Paedophilia - Tagged paedo , as , kid , bed  - Current Score: 89 - Added: 2 months ago

A small boy goes into the kitchen one day and run up to his mum. "Mummy, mummy, Grandma's got a prawn between her legs!"

"Pardon, darling?"
"Grandma's got a prawn between her legs!"
"Okay, show me"

They both walk into the living room, where they find Grandma fast asleep and looking very pleased. Her knickers are missing and her skirt has ridden up so that nothing is left to the imagination.

"See Mummy? A prawn," says the little boy, pointing between his gran's splayed legs.
"No, darling that's something special women have."

"But Mummy," says the little boy, looking confused. "It tasted like a prawn."
I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by sickfuck, in Sex and shit > Incest - Tagged kid , oral , fish , grandma  - Current Score: 89 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago

A salesman knocks at the door of a home and it's answered by a 12 year old boy with a cigar in one hand and a half empty bottle of scotch in the other. The salesman asks the boy, "Excuse me son but is your mum or dad in?"
To which the boy replies, "Does it fucking look like it?"
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Joke by pdf1, in Jokes with no home > Kids - Tagged kid , scotch , cigar , salesman  - Current Score: 74 - Added: 10 months ago

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag?

One is white, made of plastic and is dangerous to children, the other is a plastic bag
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Joke by ht, in Sex and shit > Paedophilia - Tagged sex , paedophile , children , jacko , jackson , kid  - Current Score: 73 - Added: 1 year ago

When I was a kid I used to hang around sex shops trying to get in.

Now I'm a adult I try the same at Toys shops.
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Joke by deadbolt01, in Sex and shit > Paedophilia - Tagged sex , toy shop , adult , kid , shop  - Current Score: 62 - Added: 2 weeks ago

Finding her young son scooping ice cream in the kitchen, a mother raged, "Dinner is going to be ready soon. Put that ice cream away and go and play."
"But mum" wailed the child, "There's no one to play with."
"OK," said the mother wearily, "I'll play with you. What do you want to play?"
"Lets play mummy and daddy. You go upstairs and lie on the bed." So the mother went upstairs and lay on the bed. The boy put on his father's fishing hat, lit up one of his cigars, went upstairs and opened the bedroom door. Seeing him standing there, the mother asked,"Now what do I do?" The boy answered, "Get your ass out of bed you whore and fix that kid some fucking ice cream!"
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Joke by superhorse, in Jokes with no home > Kids - Tagged kid , mother , whore , ice cream  - Current Score: 51 - Added: 9 months ago

I took my kids to the National Space Centre today.

There was fuck all there.
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Joke by Guest, in Jokes with no home > Kids - Tagged kid , space , are you blind  - Current Score: 40 - Added: 4 months ago

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