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| "Won't you kiss me, Doctor," asks a beautiful woman. "No, it would be against my code of ethics," says the doctor. "Please just one kiss," begs the woman. "It's completely out of the question," he goes on. "I shouldn't even really be having sex with you." |    |
Joke by ht, in Illness and mortality > Doctor - Tagged doctor , kiss - Current Score: 477 - Added: 11 months ago
| When I was a kid, we all played spin the bottle. A girl would spin the bottle and if it pointed to you when it stopped, the girl could either kiss you or give you a penny. By the time I was 16 I owned my own house. | |
Joke by mickle, in Sex and shit > Kids - Tagged spin , bottle , kiss , house - Current Score: 126 - Added: 2 months ago
| It was the happiest day of my life. Wife waiting at the alter, flowers blooming everywhere and a great turn out. I swept a tear away from my eye, kissed my wife on the cheek and closed the lid. | |
Joke by Guest, in Religion and racism > Christianity - Tagged funeral , wife , kiss , husband - Current Score: 87 - Added: 11 months ago
| This isn't sick but it's a good stupid story to tell your mates down the pub: So I was in the pub drinking away and this guy barges straight past me knocking my damn drink all over me! So I said to him, "HEY! You! You're gonna fight me for that." He says back, "woaaa mate relax, I'm a lover not a fighter." So I snogged him... Turns out he was a fighter... | |
Joke by rapist101, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged fight , stupid , kiss , gay - Current Score: 39 - Added: 3 months ago
| An old man was in hospital. Lying in bed, he leaned over to the pretty young nurse attending to him and whispered in her ear "Give us a kiss, luv!" "No!", replied the nurse "Oh go on!", said the man "No!", replied the nurse again "Please!", begged the old man, "Just a quick peck on the cheek?" "For the last time, no!", said the nurse, "I shouldn't even be wanking you off!" | |
Joke by Weetobix, in Sex and shit > Nurses - Tagged man , hospital , nurse , kiss , wanking - Current Score: 37 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| A couple are snogging away when suddenly the woman breaks off and says "Ooh, I think you just passed me your chewing gum." The bloke replies "Ah, sorry, I've got bronchial asthma." | |
Joke by Monty Propps, in Sex and shit > Sick - Tagged kiss , asthma , snog , sex , sick , phlegm , snot , couple , gross - Current Score: 26 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| I saw two homeless people kissing the other day. I said, "get a room." | |
Joke by zzzzzzz, in Jokes with no home > Homeless - Tagged homeless , kiss , room - Current Score: 24 - Added: 3 months ago
| Best day of my life was when i walked down the asile towards my wife, everyone was similing, her mum had a few nice things to say, i gave her a kiss and shut the fuckin coffin!!!!!! | |
Joke by the phantom phucker, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged best , wife , smiling , mum , kiss , coffin - Current Score: 22 - Added: 9 months ago
| A man is sitting on a train across from a busty blonde wearing a tiny mini skirt. Despite his efforts, he is unable to stop staring at the top of her thighs. To his delight, he realizes she has gone without underwear. The blonde realizes he is staring and inquires, "Are you looking at my pussy?" "Yes, I'm sorry," replies the man and promises to avert his eyes. "It's quite alright," replies the woman, "It's very talented, watch this, I'll make it blow a kiss to you." Sure enough the pussy blows him a kiss. The man, who is completely absorbed, inquires what else the wonder pussy can do. "I can also make it wink," says the woman. The man stares in amazement as the pussy winks at him. "Come and sit next to me," suggests the woman, patting the seat. The man moves over and is asked, "Would you like to stick a couple of fingers in?" Stunned, the man replies, "Good grief! Can it whistle too?!" | |
Joke by niggers out, in Sex and shit > Pussy - Tagged mini , skirt , pussy , wink , whistle , fingers , underwear , kiss - Current Score: 21 - Added: 7 months ago
| A pretty young woman went into a department store for some dress material and was served by a cocky young man. when she asked how much it was,he replied"a kiss per yard," Winking at her slyly Ok she replied "I'll have 5 yards." The man cut and wrapped the material,handed it to her and said "That'll be 5 kisses please." The young woman pointed to a wrinkly old man standing next to her, "Grandad's paying,"she said,walking away.... | |
Joke by cooperman, in Sex and shit > Young girls - Tagged woman , man , grandad , kiss , sly - Current Score: 13 - Added: 8 months ago
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