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| Lady in labour, shouting the usual shit, "Get this out of me, give me the drugs" She turns to her boyfriend and says "You did this to me you fucker" He replies casually "If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your arse but you said fuck off it'll be too painful" |    |
Joke by sw3llh34d, in Sex and shit > Young girls - Tagged anal , drugs , lady , labour , pregnant , pain - Current Score: 1048 - Added: 5 months, 10 days ago
| I don't usually watch these sort of programmes on TV, but today I thought I'd give it a go. Basically, I've just sat for two hours watching a house full of egotistical, fame-hungry, gay, bisexual, perverted, drunken and blind morons who are hopelessly out of touch with reality. They spend all day lounging around the house without doing anything constructive, all the while talking mindless crap and shouting over one another to see who can grab the most attention of the viewing public. And at the end of this brain numbing bullshit, I was still no closer to deciding who I should vote for.... Labour or Conservative? | |
Joke by pally76, in Celebrity and news events > Politics - Tagged labour , house - Current Score: 143 - Added: 3 months ago
| In response to the Labour party logo change, as told in this lovely passage.... "The Labour party have decided to change their party logo from a rose, to a condom because they feel it more accurately reflects their policies. This is because a condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks and gives you a good sense of security whilst you're being fucked." .... the Conservatives have also decided to change their logo to a condom, but one with a pin through it. This symbolises all the same attributes as the new Labour logo with the exception that it doesn't actually work. | |
Joke by Guest, in Jokes with no home > Politics - Tagged labour , conservative , condom - Current Score: 117 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| A married couple went to he hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labour pain to the father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favour of it. The doctor set the pain transfer dial to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. But as the labour progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since it was obviously helping out his wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic. When they got home, the postman was lying dead on their porch. | |
Joke by Gobshite, in Sex and shit > Sex - Tagged labour , couple , doctor , baby - Current Score: 96 - Added: 1 year ago
| Fucking hell women are lazy... Apparently lying down for hours counts as 'labour' | |
Joke by edwardianbutler, in Sex and shit > Young girls - Tagged woman , labour - Current Score: 82 - Added: 3 months, 22 days ago
| A labourer applies for a job on a farm. The farmer asked him if he had experience and what he was particularly good at. The labourer gave him his CV and said that he could actually communicate with animals. The farmer wanted to test him and took him to the chicken shed. One of the hens clucked a few times and the labourer told the farmer that the hen took a dim view of him taking all 4 eggs off her that day. The farmer was amazed because that was exactly what he had done. They then went to the cow shed, where a cow mooed a couple of times. The labourer told the farmer that the cow had a sore front right-hand side teat on her udder. The farmer's mouth fell open because this was also true. The farmer said "You can start tomorrow if you want but I must warn you, the sheep are all lying bastards!" | |
Joke by geebee, in Sex and shit > Bestiality - Tagged labour , farmer , hen - Current Score: 48 - Added: 1 month, 22 days ago
| I don't know if you saw the BBC news yesterday, but apparantly some illegal migrants in a detention centre have escaped and are being hunted. Finally- its good to see that the governement have given us an alternative to fox hunting- and if anything, this will be more fun! | |
Joke by petejtool, in Religion and racism > escaped migrants - Tagged migrants , labour , hunting , fox hunting - Current Score: 33 - Added: 2 months, 18 days ago
| ~Vote Labour~ And have a Nigger for a Neighbour! --Genuine Conservative Party slogan from the 1960s-- ---------------------------------------------------- Oh my god. I've just looked it up and it's true. Peter Griffiths in 1964. "If you want a nigger for a neighbour, vote Liberal or Labour." | |
Joke by bizlop, in Religion and racism > Black - Tagged conservatives , conservative , labour , nigger , neighbour , politics , 1960s , adverts , advert - Current Score: 25 - Added: 2 months, 17 days ago
| Every time I see Gordon Brown I think of my wife during sex - just lying and doing fuck all. | |
Joke by ReigatePen, in Celebrity and news events > Gordon Brown - Tagged gordon brown , labour , wife , sex - Current Score: 23 - Added: 3 weeks ago
| What's the difference between my backed-up toilet and the Chancellor of the Exchequer? My backed-up toilet is only half-full of shit. | |
Joke by Guest, in Celebrity and news events > Government - Tagged budget , labour , twats , cunts , thieves , i'm going on a baccy run to calais - Current Score: 19 - Added: 5 months, 26 days ago
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