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| A wife decides to take her husband to a strip club for his birthday. They arrive at the club and the doorman says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin'?" His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh, no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team." When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says,"How did she know that you drink Budweiser?" "She's in the Ladies' Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them." A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, and says "Hi Davey. Want your usual table dance, big boy?" Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every name in the book. The cabby turns his head and says, "Looks like you picked up a real bitch tonight, Dave." |    |
Joke by McLOVIN, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged birthday , wife , doorman , ladies , husband , cab , club - Current Score: 255 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| Why do men prefer women with big tits and tight pussies? Because most men have big mouths and small dicks. | |
Joke by P45, in Sex and shit > Anti Men - Tagged one , the , ladies - Current Score: 83 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| One day three old ladies were sitting on a park bench and this guy jumped out of the bushes and flashed them. The first lady had a stroke, the second one had a stroke, and the third one's arm was too short to reach. | |
Joke by skrewi lui, in Sex and shit > Granny Shagger - Tagged old , ladies , stroke , flasher , lady , oap , park , park bench - Current Score: 79 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| Next time you use a pair of rubber gloves, you're going to smile when you think of this: A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old lady, was nervous so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves. 'Do you know how they make these gloves?' he asked. 'No, I don't,' she replied. 'Well,' he spoofed, 'there's a building in Canada with a big tank of latex and workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their hands, let them dry, then peel off the gloves and throw them into boxes of the right size.' She didn't crack a smile.'Oh, well. I tried,' he thought. But five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the procedure, she burst out laughing. 'What's so funny?' he asked 'I was just envisioning how condoms are made!' Gotta watch those little old ladies! Their minds are always working! | |
Joke by niggers out, in Sex and shit > Old - Tagged old , lady , dentist , condoms , latex , gloves , ladies - Current Score: 57 - Added: 8 months, 13 days ago
| I've not been having much luck with the ladies lately. This week I've already had two pick me out of the line up! | |
Joke by Aspen, in Jokes with no home > Police - Tagged police , line up , ladies - Current Score: 37 - Added: 3 months ago
| Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing. One lady turns and asks, "Do you still get horny?" The other replies, "Oh sure I do." The first old lady asks, "What do you do about it?" The second old lady replies, "I suck a lifesaver." After a few moments, the first old lady asks, "Who drives you to the beach? | |
Joke by lorddread, in Sex and shit > Old - Tagged old , sex , funny , ladies , beach , lifesaver , lifegaurd - Current Score: 21 - Added: 7 months, 5 days ago
| Ladies first.... ....except in society. | |
Joke by lawtom, in Sex and shit > Women - Tagged ladies , society - Current Score: 18 - Added: 1 month, 14 days ago
| The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late 40s or early 50s. "May I help you?" she asked. "I want to see Valerie," the man replied. "Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else," said the madam. "No. I must see Valerie," was the man's reply. Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man that she charged $1,000 a visit. Without hesitation, the man pulled out ten one-hundred dollar bills, gave them to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, the man calmly left. The next night, the same man appeared again, demanding to see Valerie. Valerie explained that none had ever come back two nights in a row - too expensive - and there were no discounts. The price was still $1,000. Again the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie and they went upstairs. After an hour, he left. The following night the man was there again. Everyone was astounded that he had come for the third consecutive night, but he paid Valerie and they went upstairs. After their session, Valerie questioned the man. "No one has ever been with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?" she asked. The man replied, "South Carolina." "Really" she said. "I have family in South Carolina." "I know," the man said. "Your father died, and I am your sister's attorney. She asked me to give you your $3,000 inheritance." | |
Joke by welsh twat, in Jokes with no home > Law - Tagged madam , prostitution , man , ladies , money , inheritance - Current Score: 12 - Added: 4 months, 26 days ago
| Ladies, what do you say to a man who you've just fucked? Anything you fucking well like...we're already asleep! | |
Joke by welsh twat, in Sex and shit > Fuck - Tagged sleep , fuck , ladies , men - Current Score: 11 - Added: 3 months, 7 days ago
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