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| A young couple had just had great sex. When they were finished, she looked in the box of condoms, but there were only six left out of twelve, so she asked him, "What happened to the other five condoms?" His nervous reply was, "Er, I masturbated with them." Later, she then approached one of her Male friends, told him the story, and then asked him, "Have you ever done that?" "Yeah, once or twice," he said. "You mean you've actually wanked with a condom before?" she asked. "Oh," he said, "I thought you were asking if I'd ever lied to my girlfriend." |    |
Joke by baldlice, in Sex and shit > Girlfriend - Tagged wank , masturbate , lie , girlfriend , condom - Current Score: 267 - Added: 4 months ago
| My daughter woke up being sick, and when I asked her if she'd eaten something nasty she said "No! The fairy did it!" I said "Now I know you're lying, because there's no such thing as fairies" and I washed her mouth out with soap to teach her a lesson. Well actually we didn't have soap, so I used washing up liquid again. | |
Joke by storyteller, in Illness and mortality > Puking - Tagged fairy liquid , punishment , sickness , ill , lie , language , cruelty - Current Score: 74 - Added: 1 week ago
| One day Kyle's dad brought home a robot. The robot was special in that it could detect a lie and would slap the person who lied on the face. Kyle returned late from school that day and his dad asked him, "Son why are you late from school?" Kyle answered, "Dad, we had extra classes today". Much to his astonishment the robot jumped up and slapped Kyle on his face. His dad told him, "Son this robot is special in that it can detect a Lie and will then slap the person who lied. Now come on tell me the truth. Why are you late?" "Dad, I went to a movie" "Which movie?" "The Ten Commandments" Immediately, Kyle got a slap on the face from the robot. "Sorry Dad, I went to see the movie Sex Queen". "Shame on you son, when I was your age I never watched obscene movies or misbehaved" Immediately, the dad gets a tight slap on the face from the robot. Hearing the last sentence, Kyle's mother comes walking out of the kitchen and sarcastically says to her husband, "After all he is YOUR son!!!" To which the robot steps up and gives Kyle's mother a resounding slap on her face! | |
Joke by niggers out, in Illness and mortality > Lie Detector - Tagged lie , detector , mother , father , son , robot , sex , queen - Current Score: 35 - Added: 8 months ago
| John invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but noticing how beautiful John's room-mate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his room-mate, and this had only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and his room-mate than met the eye. Reading his mum's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you Julie and I are just room-mates." About a week later, Julie came to John saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote: "Dear Mother, I'm not saying that you 'did' take the gravy ladle from my house, I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the gravy ladle but the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner." Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read: "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Julie, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Julie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mum." Lesson of the day ...Never Lie to Your Mother | |
Joke by fox in the box, in Sex and shit > General - Tagged mother , ladle , lie , room-mates - Current Score: 23 - Added: 1 year ago
| How do we know that Adam and Eve weren't black? Have you ever tried to take a Rib from a nigger? | |
Joke by ashley1415, in Sex and shit > Black Cock - Tagged nigger , adam and eve , bible , jesus , lie , ribs - Current Score: -4 - Added: 2 months ago
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