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| Research shows the first five minutes of life can be the most risky. Somehow I think that the last five minutes aren't so hot either. |    |
Joke by BruceWillis, in Illness and mortality > life - Tagged life , death , research - Current Score: 180 - Added: 3 months ago
| The girl next door has a life-threatening condition. She is fancied by me. | |
Joke by justincider, in Sex and shit > Paedophilia - Tagged girl , next , door , threatening , life , fancied - Current Score: 170 - Added: 3 weeks ago
| My mate Dave is serving a life sentence for something he didn't do. He didn't wipe his fingerprints off the knife. | |
Joke by justincider, in Jokes with no home > Prison - Tagged mate , murder , finger prints , knife , life , sentence - Current Score: 160 - Added: 1 month, 27 days ago
| A skydiving instructor is answering questions from a group of first-time jumpers. A nervous beginner asks, "so, if my my chute doesn't open, and the reserve doesn't open either, how long do I have until I hit the ground?" The instructor replies, "you have the rest of your life." | |
Joke by pottyonetoo, in Illness and mortality > Death - Tagged sky diving , life , dead - Current Score: 155 - Added: 1 week ago
| A man goes in to his doctors surgery and asks, "Doctor, do you think I will live until I'm 100?" The doctor asks, "Do you drink, smoke or do drugs?" The man replies, "No". The doctor then asks, "Do you like to sleep around with women, and go out partying?" The man replies, "No, I don't." The doctor then asks, "Well, why the fuck do you want to live until you're 100 then?" | |
Joke by The Wolf, in Illness and mortality > Doctor - Tagged blowjob , doctor , life , live , smoke , drugs , beer , shit life - Current Score: 129 - Added: 3 months, 10 days ago
| I went through a bit of a tough period a while back in my life...well I say tough period, it might have been a miscarriage... | |
Joke by whogivesashit, in Sex and shit > Period - Tagged miscarriage , blhuud , period , life , tough - Current Score: 103 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| I went to my local supermarket and they offered me a 'bag for life' - I said "No thanks, I'm already married." | |
Joke by milo123, in Jokes with no home > Shaggy Dog Story - Tagged supermarket , bag , life - Current Score: 100 - Added: 7 months, 11 days ago
| My wife and I took out life insurance policies on each other -- so now it's just a waiting game. | |
Joke by johnboy, in Jokes with no home > One Liners - Tagged life , insrance , crap - Current Score: 81 - Added: 7 months, 8 days ago
| I asked the hotel receptionist for a wake-up call. Next morning, she rang and said, "what are you doing with your life?" | |
Joke by mickle, in Jokes with no home > Phone Call - Tagged hotel , receptionist , life - Current Score: 77 - Added: 3 months ago
| Too often we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown but only four to extend your arm and smack the cunt! | |
Joke by Lovelace, in Jokes with no home > Violence - Tagged pleasure , life , annoy , muscles , smack , punch , advice - Current Score: 66 - Added: 11 months ago
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