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| A woman's husband comes home pissed up every night and she always yells at him before going to bed alone. One day she decides to try some reverse psychology. When her husband staggers in that night, she's waiting for him in her best lingerie, she sits him in an armchair and gives him a nice shoulder massage. "It's getting late, big boy", she says after a few minutes, "why don't we go upstairs to bed?" "We might as well", slurs the husband, "I'm gonna get a right bollocking when I get home, anyway..." |    |
Joke by staffer, in Sex and shit > Drunken - Tagged psychology , reverse , lingerie , husband - Current Score: 118 - Added: 1 month, 23 days ago
| I bought some sexy lingerie to spice things up in the bedroom with my wife. She thought I looked ridiculous in them. | |
Joke by nufcdude, in Sex and shit > Kinky - Tagged sexy , lingerie , wife - Current Score: 115 - Added: 2 months ago
| Don't bother wasting money on subscribing to expensive adult web sites or calling 0898 phone numbers. Just phone your local department store and ask them to describe their latest selection of ladies' lingerie, while masturbating furiously. | |
Joke by munkybars, in Sex and shit > Wanking - Tagged furiously , lingerie , department , phone , expensive - Current Score: 74 - Added: 3 months ago
| I often have a wank over the lingerie section of the catalogue. I said to the shop assistant, "I bet you're glad you've got these pages laminated." | |
Joke by marley, in Sex and shit > Wanking - Tagged public sex , catalogue , lingerie - Current Score: 70 - Added: 5 months, 29 days ago
| A very flat-chested woman finally decided she needed a bra and set out to the mall in search of one in her size. She entered an upscale department store and approached the saleslady in lingerie, "Do you have a size 28AAAA bra?" The clerk haughtily replied in the negative, so she left the store and proceeded to another department store where she is rebuffed in much the same manner. After a third try at another department store at the mall, she had become disgusted. Leaving the mall, she drove to K-Mart. Marching up to the sales clerk, she unbuttoned and threw open her blouse, yelling, "Do you have anything for this?" The lady looked closely at her and replied, "Have you tried Clearasil?" | |
Joke by the phantom phucker, in Jokes with no home > Advice - Tagged flat , chest , bra , lingerie , k-mart , clearasil - Current Score: 26 - Added: 1 year ago
| If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? | |
Joke by smegs, in Sex and shit > Lingerie - Tagged lingerie , blind , caustic - Current Score: 12 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| A married man decides he's going to give his wife a special surprise by buying her a bra. He nervously enters a lingerie shop, but the girls take charge and help him. 'What colour do you want?' they ask. He settles for white. 'How much do your bras cost?' he asks. 'They're all £20' say the girls. All that remains is the bra size, but he hasn't the faintest idea. 'OK,' say the girls, 'are they the size of melons, coconuts, grapefruits oranges or apples?' 'No,' he replies, 'nothing like that.' 'Come on, sir - there must be something your wife's bust resembles.' He thinks long and hard before suddenly realising what they look like. 'Tell me, have you ever seen a cocker spaniel's ears?' | |
Joke by Chuck U Farley, in Sex and shit > Tits - Tagged bra , lingerie , droopy tits - Current Score: 11 - Added: 7 months ago
| Last night, my wife wore the basque and suspenders she wore on our wedding day. I'll never forgot the faces as she walked down the aisle! | |
Joke by ReigatePen, in Sex and shit > Lingerie - Tagged lingerie , wedding , wife - Current Score: 8 - Added: 1 month ago
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