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| I heard about this guy who broke into a lion's den at the zoo and got mauled. And people were talking about how there should have been better defences put up to prevent people getting into the cage.. A friend of mine suggested setting up some kind of deterrent. For example, putting some sort of fierce animal in the cage, which would attack anybody who climbed in. |    |
Joke by wreckless., in Religion and racism > ? - Tagged lion , danger - Current Score: 321 - Added: 10 months ago
| O.J Simpson is to star in a re-make of a Walt Disney classic. It's called The Lying Coon. | |
Joke by pornstar, in Celebrity and news events > OJ Simpson - Tagged oj simpson , lion , coon - Current Score: 94 - Added: 1 month ago
| Two lions walking down a supermarket aisle One turns to the other and says "Quiet in here today, isn't it?" | |
Joke by binso, in Religion and racism > ? - Tagged lion , supermarket - Current Score: 84 - Added: 6 months ago
| A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two young people show up. One is a good looking guy in his mid- twenties and the other is a gorgeous blonde about the same age. The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you both better be good or you're history. Here's your equipment - a chair, a whip, and a gun. Who wants to try out first?" The girl says, "I'll go first." She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her, so she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body. The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her ankles. He continues to lick her calves, thighs, and pussy, and then rests his head at her feet. The circus owner's mouth is on the floor. He remarks, "I've never seen a display like that in my life." He then turns to the young man and asks, "Can you top that?" "No problem," replies the young man, "just get that fucking lion out of the way." | |
Joke by gangrath, in Sex and shit > Oral Sex - Tagged lion , lion tamer , circus , blonde - Current Score: 71 - Added: 10 months ago
| What do you get if you cross a lion and a tiger? Mauled | |
Joke by karlgent, in Jokes with no home > What Do You Get.. - Tagged lion , tiger - Current Score: 53 - Added: 8 months ago
| A lion in the zoo was lying in the sun licking its arse when a visitor turned to the zoo keeper and said, "that's a docile old thing, isn't it?" "No way," said the zoo keeper, "it's the most ferocious beast in the zoo. Why, just an hour ago it dragged a Frenchman into the cage and completely devoured him." "Hardly seems possible," said the astonished visitor, "but why is it lying there licking its arse?" "The poor thing is trying to get the taste out of its mouth." | |
Joke by baldlice, in Religion and racism > French - Tagged lion , french , taste , zoo - Current Score: 29 - Added: 5 months, 23 days ago
| A lion, a bear and a chicken are in a room. All having a competition to see who is the hardest animal in the world. The bear says "when I roar the whole forest shakes". The lion says "That's nothing, when I growl the whole jungle shudders", the chicken says "You pussies, when I cough, the whole fucking world trembles" | |
Joke by ht, in Celebrity and news events > Bird flu - Tagged bird flu , chicken , lion , bear - Current Score: 23 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| Theres two fellas running down the road, shouting "Help! Help! A lion's escaped!" A passerby said, "Which way did it go?" One of the fellas says, "You stupid cunt, you don't think we're fuckin' chasing it do ya?" | |
Joke by MrO, in Celebrity and news events > Bernard Manning - Tagged bernard manning , lion - Current Score: 20 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| A Lion, a Tiger and a Chicken were sat around discussing who was the hardest. The Tiger says, "when I roar all the animals run and hide." The Lion says, "huh, when I roar all the animals quake with fear." The Chicken says, "that's nothing, when I sneeze the whole world shits itself." | |
Joke by MissTourettes, in Religion and racism > ? - Tagged lion , tiger , chicken , shit , bird flu - Current Score: 18 - Added: 3 months ago
| An apprentice is training to be a lion tamer, and it's his first day. The master tamer is telling him what to do. "Firstly, if the lion growls, move back slightly. "Secondly, if the lion keeps growling, and moves towards you, move back a little more. "Thirdly, if the lion is still growling and advancing on you, throw a load of shit in its face." The apprentice replies, "but what if there is no shit to throw?" "Don't worry," replies the master, "if a lion is advancing on you, there will be!" | |
Joke by bizlop, in Sex and shit > Shit - Tagged shit , lion , circus , lion tamer , shitting himself - Current Score: 16 - Added: 5 months, 28 days ago
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