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| A lorry carrying copies of Roget's Thesaurus crashed on the M1 yesterday, shedding it's load across the carriageway. Onlookers are said to be stunned, bewildered, dumbfounded, astonished, shocked, flabbergasted, startled, speechless and amazed. |    |
Joke by bennycmufc, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged lorry , crash , thesaurus , m1 , shocked , words - Current Score: 227 - Added: 1 year ago
| A lorry has just overturned on the M6 loaded with Vicks vapour rub. Police have said there will be no congestion for eight hours. | |
Joke by cooperman, in Celebrity and news events > congestion - Tagged lorry , truck , crash , accident , vicks , rub , congestion , walking on the moon - Current Score: 206 - Added: 1 year ago
| I was disgusted to hear the stereotype that all lorry drivers are murderers. I'm a lorry driver and I haven't killed anyone in over ten years. | |
Joke by giles, in Celebrity and news events > Jeremy Clarkson - Tagged lorry , lorry driver , murder , killed - Current Score: 128 - Added: 2 weeks ago
| A lorry driver was driving along a country road when he spotted a sign that read, 'Low Bridge Ahead'. Before he had realised, the bridge was directly ahead and though he optimistically ploughed on he got stuck, wedged underneath it, leaving cars backed up for miles. Finally a police car arrived on the scene, and the policeman walked up to the lorry's cab and said to the driver, "Got stuck, eh?" The lorry driver replied, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of diesel!" | |
Joke by trenchcoat, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged lorry , bridge , police , stuck - Current Score: 125 - Added: 1 year ago
| Police reported earlier today that a cattle truck had tipped on its side, killing the driver and all 100 cattle on board. The family of the driver announced there will be a memorial service to commemorate the driver, followed by an all-you-can-eat barbecue. | |
Joke by poosmellsyucky, in Jokes with no home > Animals - Tagged barbecue , bbq , accident , truck , lorry - Current Score: 32 - Added: 2 months ago
| I was speeding down the motorway at 100mph in my lorry when a motorbike came up along side me. He looked at me...did a handstand on his bike, then tapped my window. "You haven't got a fag have you mate?" he said. "A fag....you're going to fucking kill yourself!" I shouted. "No......I only smoke 10 a day," he said. | |
Joke by garrygwizz, in Illness and mortality > fag - Tagged fag , lorry - Current Score: 25 - Added: 7 months ago
| My girlfriend told me to treat her like a whore. She was last seen with a lorry driver. | |
Joke by storyteller, in Sex and shit > Girlfriend - Tagged prostitution , lorry , truck , whore , murder , dumped , killed , street , jeremy clarkson - Current Score: 25 - Added: 1 month ago
| I was being trained as a lorry driver recently, but just have not been getting the hang of it "You do it like this," said the guy showing me the ropes, "throttle throttle clutch throttle clutch throttle." "Right, I understand you now," I said. "Good," he said. "Now wrap her in a carpet and dump her in a layby." | |
Joke by lashley, in Jokes with no home > Viz Comic - Tagged layby , throttle , lorry - Current Score: 22 - Added: 3 months ago
| A lorry driver has been killed after a crash on the M40 which left lard spread across a motorway. Apparently he got sandwiched between two bread lorries. You should have seen the Jam Oh fuck it I need a lay down. | |
Joke by monkeyman, in Jokes with no home > Crash - Tagged lard , crash , lorry , jam , car crash , dead - Current Score: 22 - Added: 3 months ago
| I was just leaving the front door and was heading towards the gate this morning when a Pikey pulled up in his lorry and asked if I wanted the driveway re-tarmaced. I asked him how much and he told me he would do it for £600 if he could do it there and then. Now I know the tarmac alone would cost that much so obviously he was going to make a crap job or bump the price up by about a grand once he had finished. But even though I knew I shouldn't I told him he could do it. After all It's not my fucking house, I was just delivering the newspapers... | |
Joke by famous amos, in Religion and racism > Gypsy - Tagged tarmac , pikey , lorry - Current Score: 19 - Added: 3 months ago
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