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| "I am a single man (30) seeking a life-partner to share my soul with. I am sensitive, caring and have a deeply loving nature. If you wish to give me your heart, I will give you mine and know that, held within your gentle hands, it will be safe for ever. No fat birds." |    |
Joke by mickle, in Sex and shit > Fat - Tagged single , partner , add , love , chicks - Current Score: 378 - Added: 7 months ago
| He started by running his hand across her shoulders and the small of her back. He ran his hand over her breasts, touching them very lightly. Then, he proceeded to run his hand gently down her side, sliding his hand over her stomach, and then down the other side to a point below her waist. He continued on, gently feeling her hips, first one side and the other. His hand ran further down the outside of her thighs. His gentle stroking then started up the inside of her left thigh, stopped and then returned to do the same to her right thigh. By this time the woman was becoming aroused and she squirmed a little to better position herself. The man stopped abruptly and rolled over to his side of the bed. "Why are you stopping?" she whispered. He whispered back, "I found the remote." | |
Joke by bobbydgg, in Sex and shit > romance - Tagged romance , caress , love , remote - Current Score: 239 - Added: 1 year ago
| The international financial crisis has gotten so bad, Jewish women are starting to marry for love. | |
Joke by kidneykutter, in Religion and racism > Judaism - Tagged jewish , women , love - Current Score: 197 - Added: 2 months ago
| Middle aged wife walks into the living room naked. Husband says, "Why are you naked?" She replies "This is my love dress" Then the husband replies, "Well go and fucking iron it" | |
Joke by mickle, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged middle age , husband , iron , love - Current Score: 153 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| I loved Gary Glitter when I was younger. Never knew the feeling was mutual... | |
Joke by thebossman, in Celebrity and news events > Gary Glitter - Tagged gary glitter , pedo , love - Current Score: 151 - Added: 5 months ago
| According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man’s best friend is his dog... | |
Joke by Kristow, in Sex and shit > Bestiality - Tagged dog , beastiality , love , wife , sex , survey - Current Score: 149 - Added: 2 months ago
| Girlfriend, "Do you believe in puppy love?" Boyfriend, "I've tried it once, but their arses are too tight." | |
Joke by Nayim, in Jokes with no home > Animals - Tagged puppy , love , arses , girlfriend , boyfriend - Current Score: 122 - Added: 6 months ago
| Three men were drinking at a bar -- a doctor, an attorney and a biker. As the doctor was drinking his white wine he said, "For her birthday, I'm going to buy my wife a fur coat and a diamond ring. This way, if she doesn't like the fur coat she will still love me because she got a diamond ring." As the attorney was drinking his martini he said, "For my wife's birthday, I'm going to buy her a designer dress and a gold bracelet. This way, if she doesn't like the dress she will still love me because she got the gold bracelet." As the biker was drinking his shots of whiskey he said, "I'm going to buy my wife a T-shirt and a vibrator. This way, if she doesn't like the T-shirt she can go fuck herself!" | |
Joke by McLOVIN, in Sex and shit > Fuck - Tagged vibrator , t-shirt , ring , birthday , bar , doctor , biker , drinking , wine , love , coat , designer - Current Score: 106 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| I don't care what you think - I like America, and I like Americans. They always compliment me on my waistline and intelligence. | |
Joke by storyteller, in Religion and racism > Americans - Tagged americans , fat , stupid , chubby , stupid americans , like , love , waist , slimming , intelligence , intelligent - Current Score: 98 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| Never date a tennis player; to them love means nothing. | |
Joke by stickyring, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged tennis , love - Current Score: 84 - Added: 8 months ago
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