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| A Geordie and a mackem get into a nasty car accident. Both vehicles are really wrecked, but amazingly neither of them are hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the Mackem says, "so you're a Geordie, that's interesting. I'm a Sunderland fan... Wow! Just look at our cars. There's nothing left but, fortunately, we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace the rest of our days." The Geordie replied, "I totally agree - this must be a sign from God!" The Geordie went on, "and look at this - here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of whisky didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink it, to celebrate the fact we are alive and kicking?" He hands the bottle to the Mackem who nods his head in agreement, opens it and takes few big swigs from the bottle, then hands it back to the Geordie. The Geordie takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the Mackem. The Mackem asks, "aren't you having any?" The Geordie replies, "nah...I think I'll just wait for the police......" |    |
Joke by NUFC, in Celebrity and news events > Football - Tagged mackems , football , car crash - Current Score: 58 - Added: 1 year, 7 months ago
| A Mackem fan walks into a pub with his dog just as the football scores come on the TV. The announcer says that Sunderland have lost 3-0 and the dog immediately rolls over on its back, sticks its paws in the air and plays dead. "That's amazing," says the barman. "What does he do when they win?" The Mackem Fan scratches his head for a couple of minutes and finally replies: "I dunno.... I've only had the dog for eight months. | |
Joke by NUFC, in Celebrity and news events > Football - Tagged mackems , football - Current Score: 18 - Added: 1 year, 7 months ago
| Roy Keane is queuing in his local building society, when a gunman bursts in through the door demanding money. Keane attempts to tackle the raider, but gets knocked over...as he falls, his head smashes the counter and Keane is out cold. The robber escapes and the cashier tries to revive Keane. After a few minutes he comes round and looks bewildered. His first words are "Where the hell am I?". The Cashier replies: "don't worry, its ok, you're in the Nationwide." Keane replies, "Fuck me, is it May already?" | |
Joke by NUFC, in Celebrity and news events > Football - Tagged mackems , football - Current Score: 10 - Added: 1 year, 7 months ago
| Sam Allardyce and Roy Keane are being interviewed on SkySports. Richard Keys asks both of them what their targets are for the coming season. Firstly, Roy Keane says, "well, our priority is obviously to stay up this season, so I would take 17th place and build for next season, where we can hopefully break into the top half." Richard Keys: "thanks, Roy, best of luck. Now Sam, please." Sam Allardyce says, "well, Richard, I think we will win the league, do the cup double, and win the Champions League, while going the whole season unbeaten." Richard Keys: "don't you think thats a bit unrealistic, Sam?" Allardyce: "well, Roy started it." | |
Joke by NUFC, in Celebrity and news events > Football - Tagged mackems , football - Current Score: 1 - Added: 1 year, 7 months ago
| Roy Keane bumps into Michael Chopra in the butchers and asks him why he is not at training. Michael replies "Im getting a pound of sausages Gaffa!" Keane goes crazy with him shouting "get yourself to training I'll get the sausages for you." As Keane is coming out he bumps into Bobby Robson. "Hello there Roy" says Bobby "what brings you down to this neck of the woods then?" Keane replies "Ah well Bobby I have just been getting a pound of sausages for Michael Chopra." Bobby says "Hey that's one hell of a deal you've got yourself there Roy!" | |
Joke by NUFC, in Jokes with no home > Football - Tagged football , michael chopra , chopra , keane , bobby robson , robson , roy keane , mackems , sausages - Current Score: 0 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
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