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| A psychology student is conducting a survey to study the masturbatory habits of males. She approaches the first man and says, "Excuse me, sir, I'm conducting a survey and would like to know, what do you hold in your left hand while you masturbate?" To which the man replies, "A remote controller, for the DVD". She then approaches the second man, with the same question. He answers, "I've got a magazine", and she notes down his answer. She then approaches a third man and asks him what he holds while he masturbates, to which he answers, "A bar of soap". Bemused by this, she asks why. "I'm bathing the kids." |    |
Joke by caliban, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged paedophile , paedophilia , paedo , wank , masturbate , wanking , kids , kid , children , bath , bathing , soap , magazine , porn , hand , tv , dvd , remote , survey - Current Score: 344 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| I saw a sign in a public toilet yesterday. It said "Please leave this toilet in the condition that you would like to have found it in". So I left a porno mag and a line of coke. | |
Joke by stig2112, in Jokes with no home > Miscellaneous - Tagged toilet , porn , bathroom , pornography , porno , magazine , cocaine , drugs - Current Score: 163 - Added: 1 month ago
| Saw an article in a woman's magazine titled "All Men Are Liars". Which was strange because it was right next to an advert for Wonderbra. | |
Joke by mickle, in Jokes with no home > Bra - Tagged advert , liars , magazine , wonderbra - Current Score: 101 - Added: 5 months ago
| Having given up smoking two weeks ago, I decided to take the advice from a health magazine which suggested starting a hobby, so I started doing pottery lessons. And the first thing they taught me to make?... An ashtray. | |
Joke by pornstar, in Jokes with no home > Smoking - Tagged magazine , hobby , smoking , pottery - Current Score: 93 - Added: 1 month, 25 days ago
| Two puffs, Rupert And Cecil, are lying in bed together when suddenly Rupert gets a jar of Vaseline and says to Cecil, "can I rub some of this Vaseline into your chest?" Cecil says, "why?" Rupert says "Well, I was reading in this weeks Gay magazine that Vaseline stimulates hair growth, and I'd like you to have a masculine hairy chest." Cecil says, "don't be fucking silly, Rupert! You know as well as I do that, if that was true, I'd have a ponytail sticking out of my arse." | |
Joke by pornstar, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged gay , rupert , puff , vaseline , rub , magazine , chest , arse , ponytail - Current Score: 43 - Added: 4 months ago
| My wife left me last night after she caught me wanking over a magazine. I don't understand what all the fuss is about, it was her who bought the 'back to school range' catalogue home from shopping. | |
Joke by S011, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged paedophile , children , back to school , catalog , magazine , paedo - Current Score: 28 - Added: 3 months ago
| According to a new survey, 76 percent of men said what they look for most in a woman is a sense of humour and a good personality... This was a survey published in "Full Of Shit Magazine." | |
Joke by welsh twat, in Sex and shit > Sexist - Tagged woman , humour , personality , magazine - Current Score: 1 - Added: 3 months ago
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