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| A magician worked on a cruise ship. The audience was different each week, so the magician did the same tricks over and over again. One problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick.. Once he understood, the parrot started shouting in the middle of the show "Look, it's not the same hat!" "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table." "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?" The magician was furious, but couldn't do anything. It was, after all, the captain's parrot. Then the ship sank. The magician found himself on a piece of wood in the middle of the sea with, as fate would have it, the parrot. They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word. This went on for a day, and then another and then another. Finally on the fourth day, the parrot could not hold back: "OK, I give up. Where's the fucking ship?" |    |
Joke by TeddyBear12, in Jokes with no home > Magic - Tagged magician , sink , boat , parrot - Current Score: 163 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| An amateur magician accidentally turns his wife into a settee and his two kids into armchairs. He starts to panic. He tries every trick in book but none work so, in desperation, he decides to take them to hospital. Once at casualty, the magician spends a sleepless night while the medical staff run numerous tests on the unfortunate woman and children. Finally, the head doctor comes out into the corridor to speak to the magician. "How are my family?" he asks worriedly, "are they alright?" The doctor replies, "they're comfortable..." | |
Joke by staffer, in Jokes with no home > Magic - Tagged comfortable , magician , settee , armchairs , wife , children , hospital - Current Score: 104 - Added: 3 months ago
| I always remember my dad as a brilliant magician. But when I was six years old,he disappeared with a big puff | |
Joke by MICK THE MAG, in Jokes with no home > Dad - Tagged magician , puff , queer , trick - Current Score: 43 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| Did you hear about the gay magician? He disappeared with a poof. | |
Joke by McLOVIN, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged gay , poof , magician , disappeared - Current Score: 41 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| What's the difference between a policeman’s truncheon and a magicians wand? One is used for cunning stunts... | |
Joke by polkyb, in Jokes with no home > Police - Tagged police , truncheon , magician , wand - Current Score: 23 - Added: 2 days ago
| A magician calls a man up on stage, hands him a mallet and instructs the man to hit him as hard as possible on the head. The magician then proceeds to put his head down on a wooden block. The man shrugs his shoulders and takes a mighty swing. Three years later, the magician wakes up from a coma in the hospital and goes, "Taa Daa!" | |
Joke by megamong, in Jokes with no home > Magician - Tagged magician , coma - Current Score: 21 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| I heard my mate Dave the magician got himself arrested today. I thought to myself, I bet the fucker has been up to his old tricks again. | |
Joke by geemack, in Jokes with no home > Magician - Tagged arrested , tricks , magician - Current Score: 14 - Added: 4 weeks ago
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