Sorted by: Highest Scoring | Lowest Scoring | Newest | Oldest
Showing all jokes.
| Rocket launches from houston to Mars with two monkeys and an american on board. Houston radios the first monkey and say"adjust oxygen 20%,stop radar and phase to warp factor 3."Monkey 1 replies "ok roger that." Houston then radios second monkey"switch off engine 3,start radiation shield and adjust anti-gravitational throttle."Monkey 2 replies roger that." Houston calls american "feed the monkeys and don't fucking touch a thing!" |    |
Joke by mickle, in Celebrity and news events > Americans - Tagged rocket , mars , monkey - Current Score: 213 - Added: 11 months ago
| It was great to hear we will now have women Bishops. I'm hoping to get a blowjob from mine. It will make a nice change from a Mars bar and a sore arse. | |
Joke by baldlice, in Religion and racism > Women Bishops - Tagged women , bishops , sore , mars - Current Score: 113 - Added: 4 months ago
| Mr Cadbury and Miss Rowntree met on a Double Decker, it was After Eight. She was from Quality Street, he was a Fisherman's Friend. On the way home they stopped at a Yorkie Bar, he had a Rum and Butter, she had a Wine Gum. He asked her name, "Polo, I'm the one with the hole," she said. "I'm the one with the nuts," he thought, then he touched her Milky Way. They checked into a hotel and went straight to the bedroom. Mr Cadbury turned out the light for a bit of Black Magic. It wasn't long before he slipped his hand into her Snickers and felt her Cream Egg. He fondled her Flap Jacks, then he showed her his Curly Wurly and Tic Tacs. Miss Rowntree wasn't keen to have any Jelly Babies so she let him take a trip down Bourneville Boulevard via her Party Ring. He was quite pleased as he always fancied a bit of Fudge, then he gave her a boost. It was a magic moment as she let out a scream of Turkish Delight. When he pulled out, his king size Mars Bar felt a bit Crunchie. She wanted more but he needed a Time Out. However, he noticed her Pink Wafers looked very appetising. He did a Twirl, had a Picnic in her Sherbet Dip and finished off by giving her a Gob Stopper. Unfortunately, Mr Cadbury then had to go home to his wife, Caramel. Sadly, he was soon to discover he had VD. It turned out Miss Rowntree had been with Bertie Bassett who apparently had Allsorts! | |
Joke by pornstar, in Sex and shit > chocolate - Tagged chocolate , rowntree , bertie bassett , mars , snickers , allsorts , cream egg - Current Score: 61 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| NASA have spent 206 million quid for pictures of the desolate landscape of Mars. Mind you thats cheap compared to what Roman Abramovich has spent on his trophy room with more or less the same result. | |
Joke by marley, in Celebrity and news events > NASA - Tagged mars , chelsea - Current Score: 31 - Added: 5 months, 28 days ago
| Gareth Gates walked into a sweetshop for a Mars bar. He came out with 50 packets of M&Ms | |
Joke by Weetobix, in Celebrity and news events > Gareth Gates - Tagged mars , m&ms - Current Score: 23 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| What's the difference between Mars and America ? There's a slight possibility of of finding an intelligent lifeform on Mars ! | |
Joke by spangletoss, in Religion and racism > Americans - Tagged mars , america - Current Score: 21 - Added: 5 months ago
| What do you call an Ethiopian with varicose veins? Mars Bar. | |
Joke by uddingstonbluenose, in Religion and racism > Ethiopian - Tagged ethiopian , mars , racist - Current Score: 18 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
Showing all jokes.
Custurd spent 0.03ms doing 9 queries and 0.01s processing. She's 2.46% angry.
Sickipedia v2.7 - a cr3ative media® project. © '05-09 Rob Manuel