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| My wife insisted I stopped wanking. "Why?" I asked. "It's perfectly natural." She hissed back; "The kids are trying to eat their dinner." |    |
Joke by justincider, in Sex and shit > Wanking - Tagged masterbation , wife , kids , dinner - Current Score: 268 - Added: 3 months ago
| Bored of sitting on your hand till its numb to make it feel like someone else is wanking you off? Then why not try sitting on your knob, to make it feel like your wanking off some one else. Alternatively, for the voyeurs amongst you, sit on your hand and your knob, so it feels like watching someone wanking someone else off... | |
Joke by rmmkkenny, in Sex and shit > Masturbation - Tagged wank , wanking , masterbation - Current Score: 107 - Added: 3 months ago
| Why do we ask for a women’s hand in marriage? It’s not the hand we want, we have our own. We’re asking her to marry us ‘cause we are sick of hands. | |
Joke by jammycarrot, in Sex and shit > Marriage - Tagged sex , masterbation , marriage - Current Score: 25 - Added: 3 months ago
| Four women were chatting, when one of them mentioned the fact that while there were numerous terms for male masturbation jerking off, wanking, spanking the monkey, and so on but there weren't any common terms for female masturbation. "I've always called it 'jilling off'," said one of the women. "But that's just a feminisation of 'jacking off,'" said the first. "You're right," said another. "We don't seem to have any slang terms of our own for it." The fourth woman snorted. "After fourteen years of marriage, there's only one thing I call it." "What's that?" "Finishing the job." | |
Joke by Guest, in Sex and shit > Wanking - Tagged masterbation , wanking , marriage - Current Score: 6 - Added: 11 months ago
| I was going out with the lads last night, leaving the missus at home. Being a considerate hubby I asked her what she was planning. "I'm going to pull the curtains and enjoy a nice 'chick-flick'" she said. I was taken aback. I might have tossed off to Baywatch when she'd gone to bed, once or twice, but I certainly didn't boast about it! | |
Joke by Smegs, in Sex and shit > Wanking - Tagged wanking , masterbation , tossing off , chick flick , clit - Current Score: 6 - Added: 1 year ago
| I've got a lot of time for people who choose to act in porn films. Saying that, it's usually about 3 1/2 minutes. | |
Joke by day_merchant, in Sex and shit > Pornography - Tagged porn , actor , masterbation - Current Score: 2 - Added: 2 months ago
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