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| A wealthy man, a vegetarian, a Muslim woman and an American are walking down the road. A reporter stops them and says, "excuse me, what is your opinion on the unaffordable price of meat?" The wealthy man says, "what's 'unaffordable'?" The vegetarian says, "what's 'meat'?" The Muslim woman says, "what's 'an opinion'?" and the American says, "what's 'excuse me?'" |    |
Joke by staffer, in Religion and racism > Americans - Tagged excuse , opinion , meat , reporter - Current Score: 143 - Added: 4 months ago
| What's the difference between a fridge and a 5 year old? A fridge won't cry when you stick your meat in it. | |
Joke by Guest, in Illness and mortality > Dead Babies - Tagged meat , fridge , cry , child , paedophile - Current Score: 64 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| A Jewish man moves into a Catholic neighborhood. Every Friday, the Catholics go crazy because, while they're morosely eating fish, the Jew is outside barbecuing steaks. So the Catholics work on the Jew to convert him. Finally, by threats and pleading, the Catholics succeed. They take the Jew to a priest who sprinkles holy water on the Jew and intones: "Born a Jew -- Raised a Jew -- Now a Catholic." The Catholics are ecstatic. No more delicious, but maddening smells every Friday evening. But the next Friday evening, the scent of barbecue wafts through the neighborhood. The Catholics all rush to the Jew's house to remind him of his new diet. They see him standing over the cooking steak. He is sprinkling water on the meat and saying: "Born a cow -- Raised a cow -- Now a fish." | |
Joke by niggers out, in Religion and racism > Catholicism - Tagged jew , jewish , catholic , beef , meat - Current Score: 41 - Added: 7 months, 24 days ago
| i was in a restaurant last night and i called the waiter over, i said "theres a worm in my pie" , the waiter said " i think you'll find that its fat" , i said " its entitled to be , its eaten all the fucking meat!" | |
Joke by pornstar, in Jokes with no home > Food - Tagged restaurant , waiter , meat , pie , worm , fat - Current Score: 38 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| In honour of Wally the whale that died in the River Thames a couple of years ago, Vera Lynn is to produce a tribute record, which is to be called "Whale Meat Again". | |
Joke by pornstar, in Celebrity and news events > Thames Whale - Tagged thames , whale , meat , songs - Current Score: 38 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| While waiting to finalise their Australian residental status, two Afghanistani men start chatting. As they part, they agree to meet in a years time and see who has adapted better to the Australian way of life. True to their word, they meet after the year is up. The first says to the second, "We have integrated so well...yesterday, I ate a meat pie and drank a VB while watching my son play Aussie rules, and we own a Holden VK Commodore." The second man replies "Fuck off, ya towelhead." | |
Joke by immortalshadow666, in Religion and racism > Australians - Tagged aussie , afghani , meat , pie , vb , rules , towelhead , vk , commodore , holden - Current Score: 20 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| At a local college, there was a dance. A guy from America asked the girl from Sweden to dance. While they were dancing, he gives her a little squeeze, and says, "in America we call this a hug." She replies, "yaah, in Sveden we call it a hug too." A little later, he gives her a peck on the cheek, and says, "in America we call this a kiss." She replies, "yaah, in Sveden we call it a kiss too." Towards the end of the night, and a lot of drinks later, he takes her out on the campus lawn, and proceeds to have sex with her, and says, "in America we call this a grass sandwich." She says, "yaah, in Sveden we call it a grass sandwich too, but we usually put more meat in it." | |
Joke by Garf 911, in Sex and shit > Sex - Tagged sweden , sex , meat , dick , penis , american - Current Score: 19 - Added: 5 months ago
| I've just been offered 8 legs of venison for £50. Is that 2 deer? | |
Joke by chelsea_steve, in Jokes with no home > One Liners - Tagged meat , deer , venison , butcher - Current Score: 16 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| I'm a postmodern vegetarian. I eat meat ironically. | |
Joke by AS, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged meat , eat , irony , bill bailey - Current Score: 13 - Added: 3 months ago
| Q: Spot the odd one out: eggs, wife, meat, a good blowjob? A: A good blowjob. You can beat your meat, beat your wife, and beat your eggs but you just can't beat a good blowjob. | |
Joke by geebee, in Sex and shit > Blow Job - Tagged eggs , meat , blowjob , wife - Current Score: 13 - Added: 1 month ago
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