Why doesn't Michael Barrymore have any ashtrays? He puts his fags out in the pool.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a PS3? Nothing; they're both plastic, they both come in black and white, and they both get turned on by kids.

How do you know when it's bedtime in Michael Jackson's house? When the big hand touches the little hand.

Jacko's house was raided by the Drug Squad. They found some Class A in his living room, Class B in his kitchen and Class 3C in his bedroom.

What does a big sale in the children's department and Michael Jackson have in common? Little boys' pants - half off!

The Police were searching neverland after a new set of allegations against jacko First they went into the living room and found class C drugs Then they went into the kitchen and found class B drugs Then they went into the Bathroom and found class A drugs Then they went into the Bedroom and found class 1C

What did Michael Jackson say when his last trial ended? He felt like a kid again.

According to the papers, Michael Jackson is depressed. Of course he is - the fucking kids have gone back to school.

A survey was taken in America. Apparantly Osama Bin Laden is more famous than Michael Jackson. Yeah, I suppose, but he puts a lot less effort into his videos doesn't he? Although it'd really freak the Americans out if he just threw in a moonwalk now and again. Who would you want looking after your kids?

What's the difference between Jesus and George Michael? George Michael can't use his hand as a glory hole.

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