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| Isn't technology amazing? I tried to open a new email account today. When it asked me to enter a password I entered "penis". Message flashed up "PASSWORD REJECTED, TOO SHORT". I thought, how the fuck do Microsoft know the size of my tallywacker? |    |
Joke by bobbydgg, in Jokes with no home > Technology - Tagged technology , e mail , microsoft , prick - Current Score: 261 - Added: 10 months ago
| Microsoft's new Windows advert talks about life without walls... Surely life without walls is a Window's worst nightmare??? | |
Joke by Jamieee, in Celebrity and news events > Microsoft - Tagged windows , microsoft , bill gates , muppets - Current Score: 200 - Added: 1 week ago
| When Bill Gates died, he went up to Heaven, where Saint Peter showed him to his house; a beautiful 20 room house, with grounds and a tennis court. Bill Gates was pleased, and spent many months enjoying the amenities of Heaven. One day, he was enjoying one of Heaven's many fine parks, when he ran into a man dressed in a fine tailored suit. "That is a nice suit, my friend," said Gates. "Where did you get it?" "Actually," the man replied, "I was given a hundred of these when I got here. I've been treated really well. I got a mansion on a hill overlooking a beautiful hill, with a huge five-hundred acre estate, a golf course, and three Rolls Royces." "Were you a pope, or a doctor healing the sick?" asked Gates. "No," said his new friend, "Actually, I was the captain of the Titanic." Hearing this made Gates so angry that he immediately stormed off to find St. Peter. Cornering Peter, he told him about the man he had just met, saying, "How could you give me a paltry new house, while you're showering new cars, a mansion, and fine suits on the Captain of the Titanic? I invented the Windows Vista operating system! Why does he deserve better?!" "True," Peter replied, "But the Titanic only crashed once." | |
Joke by vasocam, in Illness and mortality > A Man Was...... - Tagged gates , microsoft , titanic , saint peter - Current Score: 96 - Added: 11 months ago
| There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define 'great' he said, ''I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!'' He got a job with Microsoft, writing error messages! | |
Joke by zitface, in Jokes with no home > error message - Tagged writer , error , microsoft - Current Score: 70 - Added: 2 months ago
| Microsoft has confirmed that their new version of Internet Explorer will allow users to surf anonymously. Fantastic, I can finally stop wearing my Ski-mask when surfing for porn. | |
Joke by baldlice, in Celebrity and news events > Microsoft - Tagged porn , microsoft , wanking - Current Score: 55 - Added: 2 months, 27 days ago
| would I be the only person thinking that Bill Gates named his company after his penis? | |
Joke by horsemolester, in Sex and shit > Penis - Tagged microsoft , bill gates - Current Score: 44 - Added: 3 weeks ago
| They say if you play a Microsoft CD backwards, you hear satanic messages. That's nothing, because if you play it forwards, it installs Windows. | |
Joke by joetalin, in Jokes with no home > Microsoft - Tagged microsoft , windows , satan , cd , urban dictionary - Current Score: 32 - Added: 3 months ago
| The day that Microsoft creates a product that doesn't suck is the day that they venture into the vacuum cleaner industry | |
Joke by Duplicate, in Jokes with no home > Microsoft - Tagged microsoft , suck , vacuum cleaner - Current Score: 27 - Added: 1 month ago
| Three women were sitting around talking about their husbands' performance as a lover. The first woman says "My Husband works as a marriage counsellor. He always buys me flowers and chocolates before we make love. I like that." The second woman says, "My husband is a motorcycle mechanic. He likes to play rough and slaps me around sometimes. I kinda like that." The third woman just shakes her head and says, "My husband works for Microsoft. He just sits on the edge of the bed and tells me how great it's going to be when I get it." | |
Joke by bluedishwasher, in Jokes with no home > Computers - Tagged microsoft - Current Score: 26 - Added: 10 months ago
| It's one of life's little ironies that in America, a country with free speech, a program called Word costs over a hundred dollars. | |
Joke by DumbShit, in Religion and racism > Americans - Tagged microsoft , americans , money - Current Score: 15 - Added: 3 months, 27 days ago
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