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| The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Brits have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666. The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability. It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides." The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose". Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels. The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy. Americans meanwhile are carrying out pre-emptive strikes, on all of their allies, just in case. |    |
Joke by bobbydgg, in Jokes with no home > terror alert - Tagged british , level , french , military , italy , spain , bulgaria , americans - Current Score: 780 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| I like this prank- go to google, type "French Military Victories" in the search box, and hit "I'm feeling lucky." See what comes up.... (Clicking on the alternative search gives some insightful thoughts on the whole French military strategy) | |
Joke by bizlop, in Religion and racism > French - Tagged google , military , victories , french - Current Score: 181 - Added: 7 months ago
| A Scottish soldier in full dress marches into a pharmacy to speak to the chemist. The Scot opens his sporran and pulls out a neatly folded cotton bandanna, unfolds it to reveal a smaller silk square, which he also unfolds to reveal a condom. The condom has a number of patches on it. The chemist holds it up, and eyes it critically. "How much to repair it?" the Scot asks the pharmacist. "Six pence," says the pharmacist. "How much for a new one?" "Ten pence," says the pharmacist. The Scot folds the condom into the silk square and the cotton bandanna, places it in his sporran and marches out the door of the pharmacy, kilt swinging. A moment or two later the pharmacist hears a great shout go up, followed by an even greater shout. The Scot walks back into the pharmacy, and again speaks to the pharmacist. "The regiment has taken a vote," says the Scot. "We'll have a new one." | |
Joke by ratman, in Religion and racism > Scottish - Tagged military , scotish , tight fisted - Current Score: 60 - Added: 4 months ago
| French fisherman on strike blocking off a motorway have sent the French government into panic. With no way for the army to retreat, their military capability has been effectively paralysed. | |
Joke by pharoahdonny, in Religion and racism > French - Tagged french , army , military - Current Score: 32 - Added: 6 months ago
| If you can read this thank the teacher, If you can read this in English thank the military. | |
Joke by jokeywokey, in Jokes with no home > Military - Tagged military , teacher , english - Current Score: 21 - Added: 2 weeks ago
| Yet another American soldier has died in Iraq. There was a news report about him on TV, about how he loved what he did and all the rest of it. The part that got me was that the news reported quoted, "he died doing what he loved most..." Is that holding his leg together with one hand and trying to open his suture kit with the other hand? | |
Joke by Pork Dem Yung, in Illness and mortality > Army - Tagged army , military , pun , suture , wounded , yank - Current Score: 0 - Added: 3 months ago
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