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| A new scientific study reveals that Jesus was actually a Mexican: - he was born in a barn - he walked around always wearing flip-flops - if he ever did anything, it was a miracle |    |
Joke by disturbed, in Religion and racism > Mexicans - Tagged jesus , mexican , miracle , science - Current Score: 112 - Added: 1 month ago
| An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?" "Just water," says the priest. The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?" The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!" | |
Joke by ht, in Religion and racism > Priest - Tagged miracle , god , water , wine , priest , irish , police , car , driving , drunk , drink - Current Score: 86 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| A husband says to his wife, "we should start washing your knickers in Slim Fast - it might make your fat arse thinner." The next day he puts his pants on and they are all covered in powder. He says to his wife, "did you put talcum powder in them?" "No," she says, "it's fucking Miracle Grow." | |
Joke by Guest, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged husband , wife , knickers , powder , miracle - Current Score: 40 - Added: 10 months ago
| Jesus and Moses decide to take a trip fishing in the south of England one day, and after a few hours in the boat, both are thirsty. In typical fashion, Jesus scoops out some water into a bucket and gives it the miracle treatment, making some wine for the pair. Moses, not willing to be outdone quite yet, stands up in the boat and gestures for Jesus to watch as he spreads his arms. The heavens rumble, the sky darkens and, with a flourish, the sea parts majestically. "Beat that!", says the long-bearded commandment bringer. Without a word, Jesus steps up and slips his sandals off, then jumps over the side of the boat in attempt of his famous miracle.....only to sink into the water. Scrambling to the surface and pulling himself back over the edge of the boat, he takes another attempt and the same thing happens... Clambering to the side of the boat, he looks up at Moses with a puzzled expression, shaking his head. "I don't get it, I never used to have this problem!" Moses, quick off the mark, pipes up. "Probably not, but then, you didn't have those fucking holes in your feet before, did you?" | |
Joke by Headfcuked, in Religion and racism > Jesus - Tagged jesus , moses , miracle - Current Score: 32 - Added: 8 months ago
| My girlfriend's just had a little baby boy & it's a miracle. To think my sperm would join together with her egg is truly amazing, as I only cum on her tits. | |
Joke by MICK THE MAG, in Sex and shit > Girlfriend - Tagged cum , miracle , tit wank - Current Score: 17 - Added: 1 month ago
| The other day, my Christian friend was telling me about a miracle - that he'd had a vision of God. Sure... when God reveals himself, it's a miracle, but when I did the same at Tesco last week, I got fucking arrested! | |
Joke by arichw, in Religion and racism > Christianity - Tagged god , christianity , miracle - Current Score: 13 - Added: 5 months ago
| I walked out of the pub the other night, pissed out of my head. For a laugh, I got my willy out and started waving it at traffic going past. Soon a cop car drove up and stopped. The cop stuck his head out of the window and said, "what would your mother say if she walked past and saw that?" I said, "she'd shout 'It's a miracle! It's a miracle! My legs have grown back!'" | |
Joke by Guest, in Jokes with no home > Alcohol - Tagged flasher , mother , policeman , miracle - Current Score: 8 - Added: 8 months ago
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