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Browsing tag: mobile
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I got ten texts today asking me for hot sex tonight.

I wouldn't have minded, but I'd borrowed my girlfriend's mobile for the day.
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Joke by ReigatePen, in Sex and shit > Sex - Tagged sex , mobile , girlfriend  - Current Score: 133 - Added: 6 months ago

I was standing in a queue at a supermarket checkout with my young son and in front of us is a huge fat woman.

Suddenly she gets a text message and her mobile phone starts bleeping.

"Look out," shouts my son, "she's reversing!"

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Joke by staffer, in Jokes with no home > Fat People - Tagged reversing , mobile , text , supermarket , fat  - Current Score: 103 - Added: 4 months ago

Things are great with my new girlfriend. The sex is fantastic.

I thought I would get her something special, so I bought her a new mobile.

She loved it, plays a nice tune, aww! And all those little plastic animals that go round and round.
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Joke by mickle, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged mobile , sex , baby , animals  - Current Score: 85 - Added: 4 months ago

Phone sex is great, but I recommend you use the Nokia 430.

It doesn't hurt as much when you remove it from your arse.
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Joke by baldlice, in Sex and shit > Phone Sex - Tagged phone sex , mobile , nokia , arse  - Current Score: 26 - Added: 3 months, 24 days ago

"Please leave this toilet as you would expect to find it," said a sign on the back door of the gents at my office.

So I shat on the seat through a shower head and scribbled my mobile number on the wall, inviting people to call me for cock fun.

Then they sacked me. There really is no pleasing some people, is there?
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Joke by oxbridge, in Jokes with no home > Toilet - Tagged toilet , seat , mobile , cock  - Current Score: 12 - Added: 2 months ago

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