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| A half Jewish, half black Kid asks his Mom "Mom, am I mostly Jewish or mostly black?" "That's a dumb question" she replies "Go bother your Dad, already" Off he goes - "Dad, would you say I'm mostly Jewish or mostly black?" "You're just you, son, why are you asking dumb-ass questions like that?" "Well, my friend's selling his bike for 50 bucks and I don't know whether to Jew him down to 25 or just wait until dark and steal the fucker" |    |
Joke by the phantom phucker, in Religion and racism > Nigger - Tagged jewish , black , mom , dad , son , bike , dark steal , fucker - Current Score: 234 - Added: 1 year ago
| A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Mom." With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands: Dear Mom: It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I've been finding real passion with Ahmed and he is so nice-even with all his piercings, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Mom, I'm pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be very happy. He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Ahmed taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Ahmed can get better; he sure deserves it!! Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grand children. Your daughter, Judith PS: Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home. | |
Joke by Guest, in Religion and racism > Aborigines - Tagged mom , aids - Current Score: 158 - Added: 8 months, 25 days ago
| My mum was a ventriloquist and she was always throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my dad. | |
Joke by tw2361, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged ventriliquist , mom , dad - Current Score: 120 - Added: 4 months, 22 days ago
| Little Johnny came home from school to see the family's pet rooster dead in the front yard. Rigor Mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. When his Dad came home Johnny said, "Dad our rooster is dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs sticking in the air?" His father thinking quickly said, "Son, that's so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven." "Gee Dad that's great," said little Johnny. A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Johnny rushed out to meet him yelling, "Dad, Dad we almost lost Mum today!" "What do you mean?" said Dad. "Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mum flat on her back with her legs in the air screaming, "Jesus I'm coming, I'm coming" If it hadn't of been for Uncle George holding her down we'd have lost her for sure!" | |
Joke by Mrwolf, in Sex and shit > Incest - Tagged mom , dad , grandad , incest , sex , dog , little johnnie - Current Score: 93 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| Bill and Marla decided the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their ten-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and order him to report on all the neighbourhood activities. The boy began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation. "There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he said. "An ambulance just drove by." A few moments passed. "Looks like the Andersons have company," he called out. "Matt's riding a new bike and the Coopers are making love." Mom and Dad bolted upright in bed. "How do you know that?" the startled father asked. "Their kid is standing out on the balcony, too," his son replied. | |
Joke by niggers out, in Sex and shit > General - Tagged son , sex , mom , dad , quickie - Current Score: 24 - Added: 10 months ago
| Your mum is so old, when I told her to act her age, she died. | |
Joke by paul_2401, in Jokes with no home > Your Mom - Tagged mum , mom , dead - Current Score: 14 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| Your Mom's so black, she went to night school and got marked absent | |
Joke by Cleveland, in Jokes with no home > Your Mom - Tagged yo mamma , mom , black - Current Score: 8 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| Carpenters love your mum ... She's flat as a board and damn easy to nail! | |
Joke by paul_2401, in Jokes with no home > Your Mom - Tagged carpenter , mum , mom , nail , board - Current Score: 8 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| Why is your mum so fat? Every time she swallows, I buy her a cake. | |
Joke by paul_2401, in Jokes with no home > Your Mom - Tagged mum , mom , cake , swallow , fat - Current Score: 3 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| Why is your mum like a pub in Portsmouth? Because she's crammed full of seamen | |
Joke by paul_2401, in Jokes with no home > Your Mom - Tagged pub , mum , mom , seamen , portsmouth - Current Score: 1 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
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