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| Paddy gets himself a job as a tarmac layer but on his first day he runs over a family of blacks. Paddy thought to himself "Oh fuck , i'll be getting the sack for this in the morning. However, the following morning he receives a payslip and a bonus for £1000. Surprised he confronts his foreman, who says, "You're the only bloke I know who can lay tarmac and cats eyes at the same fucking time". |    |
Joke by BigJockKnew, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged kkk , coons , spooks , monkeys , black - Current Score: 52 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| People say that monkey butlers are a thing of the future. But my Great Grandad had loads working at his house. | |
Joke by The Wolf, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged slaves , slave trade , blacks , racist , monkeys , im not racist , just like the jokes - Current Score: 44 - Added: 4 months ago
| Well, I'm sure I speak for all of us when I say I hope my favourite website doesn't go down again this weekend. I don't know where I'd be without monkeyporn.com | |
Joke by ReigatePen, in Jokes with no home > Sickipedia - Tagged sickipedia , monkeys , porn , how many of you sickos will check to see if its a real site - Current Score: 31 - Added: 1 month, 25 days ago
| A disheveled man walks into a bar with a small box with music coming out of it and puts it on top of the bar. Curious, the bartender says, "Hey pal, what's the music box for?" The man protects the box, but asks the bartender, "If I show you something you've never seen before, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender laughs and says, "Buddy, I've been tending bar for thrity years! I've seen EVERYTHING! If you show me something I've never seen before, I'll give free drinks to EVERYBODY!" Now all the patrons in the bar are watching. The bum opens the box, and inside, is a miniature man about so tall playing a piano. He plays Beethoven, ragtime, Jerry Lee Lewis, Elton John and is just going nuts playing stuff. Everyone mills around ohhing and awing. The bartender is overcome with amusement: "Allright! Drinks for everyone!" The crowd packs in and gets their drinks, then goes and sits down. When they're alone again, the bartender can't help himself. "So, uh, listen pal, where'd you get the tiny musician?" "Well", says the bum, downing his drink, " just a couple hours ago, I woke up on the beach, and I didn't want to live anymore, so I was shuffling down the shore with my feet in the sand, ready to throw myself in the ocean, and I kicked up a bottle. I thought maybe it would fetch me enough money for another drink so I rubbed the dirt off and a genie popped out and granted me one wish!" "Oh, I see!", said the bartender, actually a little confused,"so you wished for a twelve inch pianist?" "Yeah. Something like that...", says the drunk. | |
Joke by Nunyuz, in Sex and shit > Penis - Tagged size , penis , drunk , genie , sex , monkeys , smut , porn , catholicism - Current Score: 21 - Added: 11 months ago
| What's purple and falls out of trees? A monkey's miscarriage. | |
Joke by Joe Guevara, in Jokes with no home > Monkeys - Tagged monkeys , abortion - Current Score: 21 - Added: 1 week ago
| An organisation is like a tree full of monkeys,all on different limbs at different levels. Some monkeys are climbing up,some down The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but.....Fucking arseholes!!! | |
Joke by cooperman, in Jokes with no home > Arseholes - Tagged organisation , monkeys , simile - Current Score: 15 - Added: 11 months ago
| Back in the old days in South Africa we used to call the black people "monkeys". Nowadays, what with affirmative action and political correctness, you have to call them "branch managers". | |
Joke by madhatchetman, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged black , monkeys , south africa - Current Score: 15 - Added: 3 months ago
| Why are the lamp-posts so close together in Harlem? Public transport. | |
Joke by FuhKov, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged black , monkeys - Current Score: 5 - Added: 9 months ago
| Legend has it that an infinite number of monkeys sat at an infinite number of typewriters will eventually produce the entire works of Shakespeare. Thanks to the Internet, we now know this not to be true. | |
Joke by Verty, in Jokes with no home > Internet - Tagged monkeys , typewriter , internet - Current Score: 5 - Added: 3 weeks ago
| What do you get if you cross an ape and a human? AIDS | |
Joke by psychopathic666, in Sex and shit > Women - Tagged aids , monkeys , animal sex - Current Score: 3 - Added: 1 month ago
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