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| Why is everyone on about 9/11?...It's not for another couple of months |    |
Joke by whogivesashit, in Celebrity and news events > 9/11 - Tagged yankie doodle dandy , november , september , 9 , 11 , months - Current Score: 459 - Added: 2 months ago
| My auntie Marge has been in hospital for six months...I Can't Believe She's Not Better! | |
Joke by pornstar, in Illness and mortality > Hospital - Tagged aunt , marge , hospital , months - Current Score: 117 - Added: 5 months, 27 days ago
| Johnny goes to confession and says, "Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman." The priest ask, "Is that you, little Johnny Babineaux? "Yes, Father it is." "And who was the woman you were with?" Johnny says, "I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation." "Well, Johnny, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Comeaux?" "I cannot say." "Was it Teresa Thibodeaux?" "I'll never tell." "Was it Nina Olivier?" "I'm sorry but I cannot name her." "Was it Cathy Prejean?" "My lips are sealed." "Was it Rosa Prudhomme, then?" "Please, Father," Johnny pleaded, "I cannot tell you." The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, Johnny Babineaux and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot attend church services for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself." Johnny walks back to his pew, and his friend Jack slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?" Johnny replies, "Four months vacation and five good leads..." | |
Joke by McLOVIN, in Sex and shit > 2 Girls 1 Cup - Tagged nun , sex , priest , woman , father , johnny , confession , vacation , months - Current Score: 106 - Added: 8 months ago
| Why did the chav get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months? Because on the box it said, "From 2-4 years." | |
Joke by Ciabi, in Religion and racism > Jehovahs Witness - Tagged chavs , jigsaw , chav , puzzle , jigsaw puzzle , months , month , year , years , box - Current Score: 56 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| A grizzled prospector rides into a small town after 3 months of solitude. He walks into the only bar, drinks a whisky and asks the bar tender, "got any women in town?" "No," is the reply, "but there is always Jake." "No way, I'm not that kind of guy," responds the prospector. Next day he restocks and off he goes into the hills again. Three months later, our prospector is back - has his whisky. "Any women in town?" he asks. "Nope, but jake is available," is the reply. "No thanks, I'm not that kind of guy," says the prospector, and off he goes again. The next time the prospector is back in town, its been nearly a year since he last saw a woman, and let's just say the gun is fully loaded... He goes into the bar, asks if there are any women yet and gets the same response: no women, but maybe Jake. He has a whisky, then another and a third. Then he asks the barman, "so... about Jake.... Who's gonna know?" "Well," says the barkeep, "you're gonna know, and I'm gonna know. And Jake's gonna know, of course." He pauses. "And Tom and Leroy's gonna know." "Tom and Leroy? What have they got to do with it?" asks the prospector. "Tom and Leroy have to hold Jake down because he's not that kind of guy either!" | |
Joke by madhatchetman, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged prospector , jake , 3 , months , whisky - Current Score: 44 - Added: 3 months ago
| I'm just recovering from an operation. I've done six months after operation paedosweep. | |
Joke by justincider, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged operation , recovering , six , months , jail , prison - Current Score: 8 - Added: 1 month, 28 days ago
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