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| I was walking in a cemetery this morning and I spotted a bloke hiding behind a gravestone. I said, "morning." He replied, "No, just having a shit." |    |
Joke by guest1, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged shit , cemetary , morning , mourning - Current Score: 1401 - Added: 4 months ago
| Some mornings I wake up bitchy Other mornings I let her sleep. | |
Joke by Hintonian, in Sex and shit > Sexist - Tagged bitchy , morning , sleep - Current Score: 478 - Added: 6 months ago
| I had a meal last night in the new Muslim Curry House that has opened near me I wont be doing that again, I woke up this morning with the Shi'ite's | |
Joke by staffer, in Religion and racism > Muslim - Tagged shiites , morning , curry - Current Score: 77 - Added: 1 month ago
| TOP TIP To get sincere personal advice and the correct time, try calling a random telephone number in the early hours of the morning. | |
Joke by staffer, in Jokes with no home > Phone Call - Tagged morning , random , time , advice , viz - Current Score: 68 - Added: 2 months ago
| I like to start my day with a nice cuddle and a shag. Although I think he'd probably prefer a walk and a game of fetch. | |
Joke by ReigatePen, in Sex and shit > Bestiality - Tagged bestiality , dog , sex , morning - Current Score: 19 - Added: 2 weeks ago
| How annoying would it be to be married to Heather Mills? Every morning you would wake up, she would still have a bigger wood than you! | |
Joke by sparkyjcs, in Celebrity and news events > Heather Mills - Tagged heather mills , wood , morning , marriage - Current Score: 18 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| I awoke early one morning The Earth lay cool and still When suddenly a tiny bird Perched on my windowsill He sang a song so lovely So carefree and so gay That slowly all my troubles Began to slip away He sang of far off places Of laughter and of fun It seemed his very trilling Brought up the morning sun I stirred beneath the covers Crept slowly out of bed Gently shut the window And crushed his fucking head! I am NOT a morning person!! | |
Joke by Shimmergirl3260, in Jokes with no home > Poem - Tagged bird , dead , crushed , poem , morning - Current Score: 16 - Added: 2 months ago
| I woke up this morning and there was a letter on the doormat saying "Please don't bend" I thought "How the fuck am I going to pick it up then?"!!! [Lee Mack] | |
Joke by welshmadman, in Illness and mortality > A Man Was...... - Tagged letter , post , man , house , mail , morning , early - Current Score: 16 - Added: 8 months ago
| My wife says she is a fan of morning sex. So it was a great surprise to me when she refused to do it in a graveyard. | |
Joke by Cedric, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged wife , mourning , sex , morning - Current Score: 7 - Added: 3 weeks ago
| I woke up this morning at the crack of dawn. I said "Dawn, get off my face." | |
Joke by TGS, in Sex and shit > 69 - Tagged woke up , morning , crack , dawn , face - Current Score: 1 - Added: 3 weeks ago
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