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| A colleague approached this man at lunch that invited him out for a few beers after work. The man said that his wife would never go for it, and that she does not allow him to go drinking with the guys after work. The colleague suggested a way to overcome that problem: "When you get home tonight, sneak into the house, slide down under the sheets, gently pull down your wife's panties, and give her oral sex. Women love it, and believe me, she'll never mention that you were out late with the boys." So the man agreed to try it, and went out and enjoyed himself. Late that night, he sneaked into the house, slid down under the sheets, gently slid down his wife's panties, and gave her oral sex. She moaned and groaned with pleasure, but after a little while, he realized he had to take a leak, so he told he he'd be right back, got out of bed and walked down the hall to the bathroom. When he opened the door and went in, he was very surprised to see his wife sitting on the toilet. "How did you get in here?" he asked. "Shhh!" she replied, "you'll wake-up my mother!" |    |
Joke by cooperman, in Sex and shit > Mother In Law - Tagged mother-in-law - Current Score: 101 - Added: 6 months ago
| A man, his wife, and his mother-in-law go on holiday to the Holy Land. While they are there, the mother-in-law dies. The local undertaker tells the man, "You can have her shipped home for £10,000, or you can bury her here in the Holy Land for £50.00." The man thinks for a minute, and tells the undertaker to pack her up and ship her home. The undertaker asked, "Why?" Why would you spend £10,000 to ship your mother-in-law home, when it would be wonderful to spend only £50.00?" The man replied, "A guy died here 2000 years ago, he was buried and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance." | |
Joke by sickfuck, in Religion and racism > Christianity - Tagged mother-in-law , death , jesus - Current Score: 83 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter. After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty! One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you." "My darling," he replied, "Think nothing of it. I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek." | |
Joke by the phantom phucker, in Jokes with no home > Mother-In-Law - Tagged accident , buttocks , mother-in-law , husband , wife - Current Score: 49 - Added: 9 months ago
| My wife's got a big cunt, she calls it mum. | |
Joke by issachunt, in Jokes with no home > Mother-In-Law - Tagged mother-in-law , bitch , cunt - Current Score: 35 - Added: 1 month ago
| Whats the difference between your daughter and your mother-in-law? Even when really drunk, you would never dream of fucking your mother in law. | |
Joke by bizlop, in Sex and shit > Incest - Tagged incest , daughter , mother-in-law , mother in law , sex , fuck , fucking - Current Score: 24 - Added: 2 months ago
| Bill took his dog to the vet. "Doctor," he said sadly, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to cut off my dog's tail." The vet stepped back, "Bill, why should I do such a terrible thing?" Bill replied, "Because my mother-in-law's arriving tomorrow, and I don't want anything to make her think she is welcome." | |
Joke by joecorby, in Jokes with no home > Mother-In-Law - Tagged mother-in-law , dog , vet , animals , tail , unwelcome - Current Score: 18 - Added: 1 year ago
| A man is walking along a beach when he accidentally kicks a bottle and a genie pops out. The genie thanks the man for freeing him and says, "I will grant you three wishes. But I am a cursed genie, so your mother-in-law will get double what you wish for." The guy agrees and says," For my first wish, I want a luxury yacht." The genie says," Your wish is my command!" and poof! A luxury yacht appears, and at the same moment, two yachts appear at his mother-in-law's house. "And for your second wish?" the genie asks. The guy says, "I wish for $10,000,000." "Your wish is my command!" the genie says. And poof! A pile of $10,000,000 appears in front of the man and at the same moment $20,000,000 appears in his mother-in-law's bank account. The genie says, "Now, this is your third and final wish, choose carefully." "I wish there was a guy here who will beat me half to death." | |
Joke by Cleveland, in Jokes with no home > Mother-In-Law - Tagged genie , mother-in-law - Current Score: 16 - Added: 11 months ago
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