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| What do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheelbarrow? Run over. |    |
Joke by dandan, in Jokes with no home > Motorways - Tagged motorway , wheelbarrow , what the fuck are you doing crossing the motorway with a wheelbarrow you cunt - Current Score: 619 - Added: 2 months ago
| Have you ever seen these roadside protesters? They camp out all night hoping to prevent the completion of motorways. Well, yesterday one died of a heart attack. His doctor warned him weeks ago but the stupid fucker wouldn't have a bypass. | |
Joke by pornstar, in Jokes with no home > Motorways - Tagged road , protester , motorway , bypass , heart , attack - Current Score: 110 - Added: 4 months ago
| A day from the diary of a BMW driver... "The other day I was cruising along as usual coming onto one of my motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars. First off, I couldn't believe that the volume of traffic DIDN'T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway! The driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn. Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane. Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 110 mph enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph! Naturally, I got within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn't be in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way. Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me! He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car. Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes fast! Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had to take my drivers licence to a police station to be sent away to have some points put on! (They're not free points either - they're £20 each and I was only allowed 3.) But the man at the police station said that because I drive a BMW, it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won't even NEED a driving licence, so they will take it off me! See, now THAT'S the sort of respect you get when you own and drive a BMW! " | |
Joke by Guest, in Jokes with no home > Cars - Tagged bmw , police , motorway , speed - Current Score: 37 - Added: 8 months, 27 days ago
| There's two gays and two lesbians having a race to go on holiday... gays vs. lesbians. If they both start at the same time and have to pack, load and drive to the airport, who gets their first? The lesbians: they'll be doing 69 up the motorway whilst the gays are still packing their shit! | |
Joke by buzz-lightyear, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged gay , lesbian , motorway , sex , shit - Current Score: 20 - Added: 6 months ago
| I was sat in the fast lane of the M1 on Saturday and all around me vehicles were swerving, brakes were screaming... after half an hour I thought, "stuff this" and got back in my car. | |
Joke by Fles, in Jokes with no home > Motorways - Tagged motorway , car - Current Score: 18 - Added: 3 months, 25 days ago
| What do you get if you cross a motorway with a blindfold? Run over. | |
Joke by Hannah Pimperton, in Jokes with no home > Motorways - Tagged motorway , blindfold , death - Current Score: 11 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| How do you get two whales in a car? Down the M4. | |
Joke by BarryConlonsBarmyArmy, in Religion and racism > ? - Tagged whales , wales , car , m4 , motorway , animals , animal - Current Score: 5 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| What do you get if you cross a motorway with a flock of sheep? A flock of dead sheep. | |
Joke by Grave, in Religion and racism > ? - Tagged motorway , sheep - Current Score: 3 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
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