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| I was in London yesterday when I saw Sting. I said, "Hey, you're Sting! I've got all your records!" I'd love to see his face when he gets home and realises I've burgled him. |    |
Joke by ReigatePen, in Jokes with no home > Burglar - Tagged burgler , sting , theft , music - Current Score: 184 - Added: 3 weeks ago
| What was Michelle McManus' favourite musical instrument at school? The dinner bell. | |
Joke by drumchapelbhoy, in Celebrity and news events > 10 Items Or Less - Tagged fat , michelle mcmanus , school , dinner , music - Current Score: 163 - Added: 1 month, 16 days ago
| Two chavs are in a car, and no music is playing. Who's driving? The police. | |
Joke by Ciabi, in Religion and racism > Chavs - Tagged chavs , police , car , chav , drive , driving , radio , music - Current Score: 152 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| As for Elton John being a great musician- I agree. But while he's the greatest on the piano, I hear he sucks on the organ. | |
Joke by freddie_fuckface, in Celebrity and news events > George Michael - Tagged george michael , gay , music - Current Score: 79 - Added: 4 months, 17 days ago
| A British company is developing computer chips that store music in women's breast implants. A company spokesperson declares this a major breakthrough, as women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts without listening to them. | |
Joke by darylsws, in Sex and shit > Tits - Tagged music , breasts , women - Current Score: 75 - Added: 1 year ago
| A pianist was hired to play background music for a movie. When it was completed he asked when and where he could see the picture. The producer sheepishly confessed that it was actually a porno film and it was due out in a month. A month later, the musician went to a porno theater to see it. With his collar up and dark glasses on, he took a seat in the back row, next to a couple who also seemed to be in disguise. The movie was even raunchier than he had feared, featuring group sex, S/M and even a dog. After a while, the embarrassed pianist turned to the couple and said, "I'm only here to listen to the music." "Yeah?" replied the man. "We're only here to see our dog." | |
Joke by knuffles, in Sex and shit > S&M - Tagged s&m , dog , porn , music , sex - Current Score: 38 - Added: 5 months, 27 days ago
| Computer games don't affect kids. I mean, if Pac-Man had affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in dark rooms, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music. | |
Joke by Guest, in Jokes with no home > Gamer And Real World - Tagged computer , games , computer games , gamer , pacman , pac man , game , gaming , kids , drugs , music , electronic , marcus brigstocke - Current Score: 35 - Added: 6 months, 13 days ago
| I saw a recent TV advert for blood donation, in which Sharon Osborne says " An anonymous blood donor saved my life." I really hope it wasn't me- I'm certainly never giving blood again. | |
Joke by bizlop, in Illness and mortality > blood - Tagged viz jokes , viz , sharon osborne , blood , music , hospital , tv , advert - Current Score: 33 - Added: 4 months ago
| I went into a record shop and asked, "do you have anything by the Doors?" The assistant said, "yes, a fire extinguisher and a bucket of sand." | |
Joke by Guest, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged music , shop - Current Score: 25 - Added: 8 months ago
| Have you heard about the new American radio station called WPMS? Each month, they play two weeks of love songs, one week of blues, one week of ragtime and two days of death metal. | |
Joke by nassi, in Jokes with no home > PMS - Tagged pms , radio , music , blues , ragtime , metal , america , american - Current Score: 23 - Added: 3 months, 30 days ago
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