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| A duck walks into a bar and says to the barman, "Got any bread?" Barman says: "No" Duck says: "Got any Bread?" Barman says: "No" Duck says: "Got any Bread?" Barman says: "No, we have no bread." Duck says: "Got any bread" Barman says: "No, we haven't got any fucking bread." Duck says: "Got any bread?" Barman says: "No, are you deaf? We haven't got any fucking bread. Ask me again and I'll nail your fucking beak to the bar, you irritating bastard bird!" Duck says: "Got any nails?" Barman says: "No." Duck says: "Got any bread?" |    |
Joke by kitkat456, in Religion and racism > ? - Tagged duck , bread , pub , bar , animal , nail - Current Score: 227 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| What's harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree? My cock while I'm doing it. | |
Joke by BigFatPaulie, in Illness and mortality > Dead Babies - Tagged dead babies , dead baby , dead , baby , babies , nail , nailed , nailing , tree , hard , harder , cock - Current Score: 133 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| What's the difference between a picture of Jesus and the real Jesus? It only takes one nail to hang up a picture! | |
Joke by ht, in Religion and racism > Jesus - Tagged jesus , hanging up , nail - Current Score: 65 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| Jesus walks into a hotel, throws a bag of nails on the counter and says, "Can you put me up for the night?" | |
Joke by caliban, in Religion and racism > Christianity - Tagged jesus , one liners , christian , christianity , christ , nail , nails , cross , hotel , night , god - Current Score: 62 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| Part 1: How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the floor. Part 2: How do you make it stop? Nail its other hand to the floor. | |
Joke by We Are The Lemon, in Illness and mortality > Dead Babies - Tagged nail , hand , dead baby , circle , baby , crawl , floor - Current Score: 50 - Added: 1 year, 10 months ago
| My old man's a Spurs fan. He is that disappointed with their recent bad form, yesterday he nailed his season ticket to a tree in the park. He had second thoughts today and went back to collect it. Someone had nicked the nail. | |
Joke by dixie normous, in Jokes with no home > Football - Tagged football , spurs , season ticket , park , nail , no points , bottom of the premiership - Current Score: 43 - Added: 1 month, 22 days ago
| "Mummy, Mummy, I'm fed up with walking round in circles?" "Shut up then or we'll nail your other foot down!" | |
Joke by sick puppy, in Jokes with no home > Mummy, Mummy - Tagged mummy , walking , nail - Current Score: 18 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| A guy goes to the doctor's to pick up his blood test results. The doctor says, "I'm afraid you have AIDS" "But I only stepped on a nail!" "Well, it must've been a fucking bent one" | |
Joke by rob2uk, in Sex and shit > Women - Tagged aids , doctor , gay , nail - Current Score: 12 - Added: 2 months ago
| Carpenters love your mum ... She's flat as a board and damn easy to nail! | |
Joke by paul_2401, in Jokes with no home > Your Mom - Tagged carpenter , mum , mom , nail , board - Current Score: 8 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ? Nail its other hand to the floor. | |
Joke by Joelly, in Illness and mortality > Babies - Tagged babies , nail , circle - Current Score: -1 - Added: 1 week ago
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