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| I was at my nan's house and she doesn't like swearing. I said, "crap" and she told me to put 20p in the swear jar. "I only have a pound," I told her, but she had no change. I threw in the pound anyway and said, "shit, you fucking bitch, take it all you thieving cunt." |    |
Joke by albinobob123, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged swearing , nan - Current Score: 182 - Added: 5 months ago
| I took my nan out the other week, I couldn't believe what she was saying: "What are you doing here, go back to Africa, go back to India." Everyone was looking at us. I said, "Nan, it's a Zoo." | |
Joke by tw2361, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged nan , zoo , harry hill , hooves , animals - Current Score: 88 - Added: 4 months ago
| My nan always said that she wanted to die at home surrounded by her family. So we all went round there last night and stabbed her. | |
Joke by QuagmireMaterialistica, in Illness and mortality > Death - Tagged death , nan - Current Score: 77 - Added: 1 month ago
| My mum once told me that doctors smack the bum of new born babies to make them start breathing. My mum disowned me years ago though - apparently it doesn't work on your nan on her deathbed. | |
Joke by Aspen, in Illness and mortality > Nan - Tagged nan , death , dead , deathbed , baby , mum - Current Score: 20 - Added: 1 month ago
| Bungee jumping is like receiving head from your gran. It feels good, so long as you don't look down | |
Joke by BedfordshireLass, in Sex and shit > Blow Job - Tagged nan , blow job , head , bungee jumoing - Current Score: 18 - Added: 10 months ago
| My Nan was cremated today...that'll teach her to use hairspray while lighting a fag | |
Joke by whogivesashit, in Illness and mortality > Cremation - Tagged fag means cigarette , hairspray , nan , gone - Current Score: 16 - Added: 2 months ago
| I went to see a medium earlier. She said, "Your nan wants you to know she's so proud of you" and I immediately burst into tears. She said, "are you okay?" I said, "no, when I left her house this morning she was fine!" | |
Joke by Aspen, in Jokes with no home > Medium - Tagged medium , nan , psychic - Current Score: 8 - Added: 2 months, 24 days ago
| When my nan was on her deathbed she left me her wedding ring "for the girl of my dreams". I pawned it in and went straight down the brothel! | |
Joke by ReigatePen, in Sex and shit > Brothel - Tagged brothel , sex , nan , wedding ring - Current Score: 8 - Added: 3 weeks ago
| I'll never forget my nan's last words on her deathbed: "my heart's failing - in five minutes I'm screwed." How apt. | |
Joke by ReigatePen, in Sex and shit > Necrophilia - Tagged necrophilia , nan , death - Current Score: 6 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| I answered the phone to a cold caller earlier. It was my nan, asking that I pay her heating bill. | |
Joke by Roll Fizzlebeef, in Jokes with no home > Old People - Tagged nan , grandma , also works great with grandads , heating , bill , cold , caller , annoying fuckwits who wont leave you in peace , jimmy carr - Current Score: 6 - Added: 4 weeks ago
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