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| We are always told we should look after and keep an eye on our old neighbours. Why the fuck should we? My 87 year old neighbour is such a lazy bitch, she hasn't even taken her newspapers in for two weeks. |    |
Joke by bobbydgg, in Illness and mortality > Old people - Tagged caring , lazy , bitch , neighbour - Current Score: 692 - Added: 1 year ago
| I saw my neighbour in the garden digging. I asked, "what are you up to mate?" He replied, "I'm going to dig a really deep hole, fill it with water and have a bucket we can send down to get the water if ever we need it." I thought, "I'll leave him to it,...... he means well..." | |
Joke by staffer, in Jokes with no home > Wordplay - Tagged neighbour , digging , hole , well - Current Score: 235 - Added: 1 month, 17 days ago
| I know this guy who has a Paki for a neighbour. His name is Mohammed Islam. I mean, for fuck's sake, it's like calling your kid Jesus Christianity | |
Joke by mamma mia, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged paki , muslim , jesus , christianity , neighbour - Current Score: 227 - Added: 4 months, 17 days ago
| I think my neighbour fancies me. She came over the other day and said, "I've noticed you looking at me." I was so surprised that I nearly dropped the binoculars. | |
Joke by marley, in Sex and shit > voyeurism - Tagged voyeur , neighbour - Current Score: 143 - Added: 4 months, 5 days ago
| What's the chav next door getting for Christmas? Your bike. | |
Joke by Guest, in Religion and racism > Chavs - Tagged chav , christmas , present , thief , neighbour , bike - Current Score: 119 - Added: 1 year, 11 months ago
| What's the one word beginning with N and ending with R that you don't want to call a black person? Neighbour. | |
Joke by leisuresuitlee, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged word , black , neighbour - Current Score: 94 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| The girl who grew up next door to me has just landed a part in a major film, at the age of 20. My claim to fame is that I shagged her before she was famous. 16 years before to be precise. | |
Joke by justincider, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged girl , neighbour , part , major , film , claim , fame , shagged - Current Score: 91 - Added: 3 months, 9 days ago
| My neighbours bought their little boy a drum kit a week ago. I went round there to see him earlier. What a noise he makes! You'd think he'd never had a drumstick shoved up his arse before! | |
Joke by ScaramangaLull, in Jokes with no home > Drum kit - Tagged drumstick , drum kit , neighbour - Current Score: 78 - Added: 7 months, 26 days ago
| Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbour peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "what are you up to there, Tim?" "My goldfish died," replied Tim tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him." The neighbour was concerned. "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" Tim patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "that's because he's inside your cat." | |
Joke by joecorby, in Religion and racism > Africans - Tagged goldfish , cat , neighbour , buried - Current Score: 66 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| Little Johnnie's neighbour had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears. When mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnnie's family was invited over to see the baby. Before they left their house, Little Johnnie's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears. His dad also told him that if he so much mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the smacking of his life when they came back home. Little Johnnie told his dad he understood completely. When Johnnie looked in the crib he said, "What a beautiful baby." The mother said, "Why, thank you, Little Johnnie. Johnnie said, "He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see?" "Yes", the mother replied, "we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision." "That's great", said Little Johnnie,"coz he'd be fucked if he needed glasses". | |
Joke by mickle, in Jokes with no home > Advice - Tagged neighbour , ears , baby , dad , glasses , little johnny - Current Score: 54 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
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