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| "It's too hot to wear clothes today," my husband said to me, stepping out of the shower. "What do you reckon the neighbours will think if I mow the grass like this?" he asked. "Probably that I married you for your money," I replied. |    |
Joke by sophiaishere, in Sex and shit > Penis - Tagged hot , naked , neighbours , little dick , marriage - Current Score: 175 - Added: 3 months, 6 days ago
| I just got a Charity Appeal Letter from Oxfam. For just £2 a week, I can help find a home for a Pakistani earthquake victim. Fuck that for a game of soldiers, I've already got 42 living next door to me, I don't want any more of the cunts. | |
Joke by baldlice, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged oxfam , paki , charity , neighbours - Current Score: 43 - Added: 2 weeks ago
| This year, I'm going to join our American cousins and celebrate Thanksgiving the old fashioned way. By which I mean I'm going to invite all my neighbours round for an enormous feast, kill them all and then take their land | |
Joke by ferret, in Religion and racism > Thanksgiving - Tagged thanksgiving , yanks , neighbours , slaughter , genocide , murder , massacre - Current Score: 29 - Added: 4 days ago
| My old dad used to say that during the war, the only bomb you ever needed to worry about was the one with your name on it. That used to scare the shit out of his neighbours, Mr & Mrs Doodlebug. | |
Joke by captain slow, in Jokes with no home > World War II - Tagged neighbours , war , bomb , dad - Current Score: 27 - Added: 1 year ago
| My neighbour's son came out of the closet today. It was a shock for all of us, especially for me. I was certain I had finished him off. | |
Joke by justincider, in Jokes with no home > Murder - Tagged son , closet , finished , neighbours - Current Score: 27 - Added: 1 month, 15 days ago
| My grandad always said, "good fences make good neighbours." He looked such a dick standing there talking to a fence. | |
Joke by Aspen, in Jokes with no home > Grandad - Tagged grandad , fence , neighbours - Current Score: 16 - Added: 2 months, 26 days ago
| I had to look after the neighbours cat while she was on holiday. Now theres a great pile of crap and a puddle of piss on the floor Hopefully.....she'll think the cat did it...... | |
Joke by cooperman, in Sex and shit > Shit - Tagged cat , shit , piss , neighbours - Current Score: 15 - Added: 1 year ago
| I ordered a book on the internet the other day called "How To Have Absolutely Nothing To Do With Your Neighbours". Unfortunately, I was out when it was delivered. | |
Joke by MICK THE MAG, in Jokes with no home > Internet - Tagged book , internet , neighbours - Current Score: 14 - Added: 3 weeks ago
| Tips for blokes -- How to clean a toilet: 1. Barrow cat from neighbour. 2. Pour soap into toilet. 3. Add cat and close lid. 4. Sit on lid. 5. Allow cat time to act. 6. Flush several times to rinse. 7. Raise lid and admire shine. | |
Joke by durjaya, in Jokes with no home > Blokes - Tagged cats , neighbours , clean , toilets - Current Score: 10 - Added: 1 month, 27 days ago
| A man goes to see his doctor because of a sore throat. The doctor tells him to pull down his pants and to swing his genitals in the window. "What does this have to do with my throat?" the guy asks. "Nothing, I just hate those Paki neighbours." | |
Joke by mamma mia, in Illness and mortality > Doctor - Tagged doctor , sore throat , dick , genitals , paki , muslim , neighbours - Current Score: 5 - Added: 4 months, 9 days ago
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