Tag: oap - Sickipedia

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A quarter of over 50s are failing to save.

It's CTRL & S. You old fucks.

Joke by AS, in Illness and mortality > Old People - Tagged save , 50 , ctrl , it , oap , computer - Current Score: 214 - Added: 2 months ago

91% of people over 60 believe that we show less respect to others than we did in the past.

Silly old fuckers.

Joke by AS, in Illness and mortality > Old People - Tagged old people , respect , oap , past , pensioners - Current Score: 206 - Added: 3 months ago

I was out walking the dog this morning, when I spotted two teenagers wrestling with an old aged pensioner for her purse. I immediately ran over to help.

We got the fucking thing off her in the end.

Joke by cooperman, in Illness and mortality > Old people - Tagged help the aged , oap , pensioner , purse - Current Score: 151 - Added: 5 months ago

What goes up and down and smells of piss?

The lift in a retirement home.

Joke by Randall, in Jokes with no home > Pensioners - Tagged piss , pensioner , oap , retirement home - Current Score: 22 - Added: 9 months ago

An elderly man really took care of his body. He lifted weights and jogged six miles every day. One morning he looked into the mirror, admiring his body, and noticed that he was suntanned all over with the exception of his penis. So he decided to do something about that.
He went to the beach, undressed completely, and buried himself in the sand, except for his penis, which he left sticking out of the sand.

A bit later, two little old ladies came strolling along the beach, one using a cane to help her get along. Upon seeing the thing sticking out of the sand, the lady with the cane began to move the penis around with her cane.

Remarking to the other little old lady, she said, "There really is no justice in the world."

The other little old lady asked, "What do you mean by that?"

The first little old lady replied, "Look at that. When I was 20, I was curious about it. When I wa s 30, I enjoyed it. When I was 40, I asked for it. When I was 50, I paid for it. When I was 60, I prayed for it. When I was 70, I forgot about it.

"Now that I'm 80, the damned things are growing wild, and I'm too old to squat !

Joke by scol77, in Sex and shit > Oldies - Tagged oap , squatting , beach , sex - Current Score: 13 - Added: 8 months ago

What's blue and white and fucks old ladies?

The NHS

Joke by Lee, in Illness and mortality > Old People - Tagged oap , gilf - Current Score: 10 - Added: 1 year ago

An elderly married couple scheduled their annual medical examinations on the same day so they could travel together. After the examination, the doctor said to the elderly man:
'You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?'
'In fact, I do', said the man. 'After I have sex with my wife for the first time, I'm usually hot and sweaty. After I have sex with my wife the second time, I'm usually cold and chilly.'
'That's interesting', replied the doctor. 'Let me do some research and get back to you.'
After examining the elderly lady, the doctor said: 'Everything appears to be fine. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?'
The lady replied that she had no questions nor concerns.
The doctor then asked: 'your husband had an unusual concern. He claims that he is usually hot and sweaty after having sex the first time with you and then cold and chilly after the second time. Do you know why?'
'Oh that old coot!' she replied. 'That's because the first time is usually in July, and the second time is usually in December!'

Joke by ffc2004, in Sex and shit > Old - Tagged old , oap , stupid , sex - Current Score: 1 - Added: 4 weeks ago

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