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| A convicted drug dealer is in prison, and his father, an old farmer, comes to visit. His father explains that they are having problems. "Son, the ground is frozen. It is too hard for me to dig myself at my age, but I can't afford extra men or to hire machines- I don't think we will be able to plant crops this year, which will mean we will go bankrupt and lose the farm." Later the prisoner goes back to his cell and writes a letter to his father- " Dear Father, please be aware that a good friend of mine will be visiting soon. There is a large quantity of stuff he is collecting. It is hidden on the farm, he will know exactly what to do." Some weeks later the prioner's father comes to visit. "Well, son, your friend never showed up, but before I even got your letter the police came round, searched the whole house and dug up all the land around, but they didn't find anything." The prisoner smiles, " Happy planting, dad." |    |
Joke by twayne, in Jokes with no home > Drugs - Tagged drugs , prison , wit , oneupmanship , police , father , son , clever - Current Score: 153 - Added: 4 months, 16 days ago
| The conversation turns to their position in life and it's clear that they are trying to one-up each other. The first one says, "My husband is taking me to the French Riviera for two weeks on vacation," and then looks at the others with a superior demeanor. The second one says, "Well, my husband just bought me a brand new Mercedes," and looks about with considerable pride. Number three says, "Well, to be perfectly honest with you, we don't have much money and we don't have any material possessions. However, one thing I can tell you about my husband is that thirteen canaries can stand shoulder to shoulder on his erect penis." After this, the first one looks shamefaced and says, "Girls, I've got a confession to make. I was just trying to impress you. You know that vacation I was telling you about? Well, it's not to the French Riviera, it's to Bognor Regis for two weeks." The second one says, "Your honesty has shamed me. It's not a Mercedes, he bought me a second hand Fiesta." "Well," the third one says, "I also have a confession to make, canary number thirteen has to stand on one leg!" | |
Joke by milo123, in Sex and shit > Penis - Tagged oneupmanship , canary , holiday , penis , car - Current Score: 13 - Added: 10 months, 11 days ago
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