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| I was referred to Dr. Dre the other day, I have to go in for a hip-hoperation. |    |
Joke by Dicky McCunt, in Jokes with no home > One Liners - Tagged dr dre , operation , hiphop - Current Score: 74 - Added: 1 month, 22 days ago
| What's the medical term for a female-to-male sex change operation? Strapadictomy | |
Joke by baldlice, in Sex and shit > Dildo - Tagged sex , operation , football , medical - Current Score: 71 - Added: 6 months, 10 days ago
| A pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express Praise for answered prayers. A lady stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise: "Two months ago my husband, Jim, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his Scrotum was smashed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know If they could help him." She continued, "Jim was unable to hold me or the children and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate Operation. "They were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Jim's scrotum and wrap wire around it to hold it in place." The men in the congregation squirmed uncomfortably. She continued, "now Jim is out of the hospital and the doctors say that, with time, his scrotum should recover completely." All the men sighed with relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had anything to say. A man rose and walked to the podium. He said, "good morning, I'm Jim and I want to tell my wife ONCE AGAIN that the word is STERNUM." | |
Joke by niggers out, in Sex and shit > 69 - Tagged scrotum , wife , operation , paster , no - Current Score: 52 - Added: 9 months, 25 days ago
| George wakes up in hospital after a serious operation. "I have good news and bad news," says the doctor. "The good news is that we managed to save your testicles." "Thank God," says George. "And what's the bad news?" The doctor replies, "they're in a bag under your pillow." | |
Joke by cooperman, in Illness and mortality > Doctor - Tagged testicles , pillow , operation , bag , hospital - Current Score: 36 - Added: 10 months, 28 days ago
| There was a guy who had been having chronic trouble in trying to get an erection. After weeks of frustration, he finally breaks down and goes to the doctor. The doctor gives him a thorough examination and finally makes the diagnosis. "Well, there's good news and there's bad news," she says. "The bad news is that the muscles around your penis are deteriorating, and there is no cure." The guy, on the verge of panic, finally regains his composure. "So what's the good news?" he asks. The doctor says, "There is an experimental treatment available, but there are no guarantees. It involves transplanting the muscles from a baby elephant's trunk into your penis. Would you like to try it?" The guy thinks about it and finally says, "Well, the thought of going through life without being able to have sex is just too much for me. What have I got to lose? Let's do it." So the doctor performs the operation. A few weeks later, the guy takes his girlfriend out to a nice restaurant to celebrate his new equipment. While sitting at the table, he feels a stirring between his legs; it gets progressively worse until it reaches the point of being painful. Seeking relief, he reaches down and unzips his fly to relieve some of the pressure. Suddenly, his penis leaps free from his pants, slides over the tabletop and grabs a dinner roll, then returns to his pants again. "Wow!" says his stunned girlfriend, "That was impressive! Can you do that again?" Eyes watering and face flushed, he says, "Probably...But I don't know if I can fit another dinner roll up my ass!" | |
Joke by McLOVIN, in Illness and mortality > Diagnosis - Tagged operation , doctor , girlfriend , elephant - Current Score: 29 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| A patient wakes up after a serious operation in hospital, only to find that all the curtains in his room were drawn. "Why are all the curtains closed?" He asked the doctor, "Well...." said the doctor, "They are fighting a huge fire across the road and we didn`t want you to wake up and think the operation failed" | |
Joke by pluvius, in Illness and mortality > Operation - Tagged operation , hell , doctor - Current Score: 23 - Added: 2 weeks ago
| A beautiful young woman is about to undergo a minor operation. She's lying on a trolley in a hospital corridor, awaiting medical attention, when a man in a white coat approaches her, lifts the sheet covering her, and performs a visual examination of her body. He then walks away poker-faced, consults with another man in a white coat, who approaches and performs the same examination. When a third man approaches, the girl asks, concerned, "is everything okay? When is the operation going to begin?" "Your guess is as good as mine, lady," the man says, shrugging. "We're just painting the corridor." | |
Joke by Mr lol, in Sex and shit > Pornography - Tagged painter , hospital , operation - Current Score: 17 - Added: 5 months, 23 days ago
| "Doc," says Steve, "I want to be castrated." "What on earth for?" asks the doctor in amazement. "It's something I've been thinking about for a long time and I want to have it done" replies Steve. "But have you thought it through properly?" asks the doctor, "It's a very serious operation and once it's done, there's no going back. It will change your life forever!" "I'm aware of that and you're not going to change my mind; either you book me in to be castrated or I'll simply go to another doctor." "Well, OK.", says the doctor, "But it's against my better judgment!" So Steve has his operation, and the next day he is up and walking very slowly, legs apart, down the hospital corridor with his drip stand. Heading towards him is another patient, who is walking exactly the same way. "Hi there," says Steve, "It looks as if you've just had the same operation as me." "Well," said the patient, "I finally decided after 37 years of life that I would like to be circumcised." Steve stared at him in horror and screamed, "Shit! THAT'S the word!" | |
Joke by the phantom phucker, in Jokes with no home > castration - Tagged castrated , doctor , operation , patient , horror , circumcised - Current Score: 10 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| I'm just recovering from an operation. I've done six months after operation paedosweep. | |
Joke by justincider, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged operation , recovering , six , months , jail , prison - Current Score: 8 - Added: 2 months, 8 days ago
| A woman goes into hospital after having 5 kids to have an operation to make her fanny look more like a piggy bank slot than a half eaten kebab. When she wakes up there are 3 roses on the end of her bed. "Who are they from?" she asks. The nurse replies, "well the first is from your husband because he will be able to feel it when you have sex now," "the second is from the doctor for being a model patient," ".......and the third?" asks the woman, "oh, they are from Ed in burns unit saying thanks for the new ears!" | |
Joke by pumpdaddy, in Illness and mortality > Burns - Tagged operation , fanny - Current Score: 8 - Added: 3 weeks ago
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