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| A grandad asked his grandson what he wanted for Christmas. "I want a bike, an iPod, some football boots and a Nintendo Wii," he replied. "When I was a boy," said grandad, "all I got was an orange and an apple." "Fuck me!" said the grandson, "a mobile phone AND a computer?" |    |
Joke by catshit, in Jokes with no home > Christmas - Tagged grandson , grandad , phone , apple , orange , computer , christmas - Current Score: 172 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| Two oranges walk into a pub. One says to the other, "Your round". The other orange replies, "That hurts. I've been trying to lose weight!" | |
Joke by Guest, in Jokes with no home > Drinking Jokes - Tagged oranges , pub , pun , fat , orange , insult , bar , cunt , round - Current Score: 117 - Added: 2 years, 0 months ago
| What's orange during the day and brown at night? Dale Winton's cock. | |
Joke by Guest, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged dale winton , orange , suntan , gay - Current Score: 105 - Added: 11 months ago
| So Ryan Giggs has lifted the Champions League cup for a second time. He had a peek inside and there was a Chocolate Orange in it. He said - "It's not Terry's, it's mine!" | |
Joke by fox in the box, in Celebrity and news events > Chelsea - Tagged champions , league , terry , giggs , chocolate , orange - Current Score: 80 - Added: 8 months ago
| This guy walks into a pub and half his head is a big orange. He says, "I'll have a pint of lager, please." The barman says, "Excuse me, I couldn't help noticing, but half your head appears to be a big orange." The guy goes, "Yeah, had that for a while now." So the barman says, "How did that come about, if you don't mind me asking?" The guy says, "I was in this old junk shop when I found a lamp and when I gave it a rub this genie appeared. He offered me the standard three wishes, and I said, 'For my first wish, I'd like every woman I ever meet to fall madly in love with me.' So the genie waved his genie hands and suddenly there were women looking at me. "Then the genie said, 'What will your second wish be?' "I said, 'I'd like a wallet with £1 million in it, and I can never lose it, it can't be destroyed, and every time I spend any of the money, it'll be replenished.' "And the genie said, 'Your wish is granted. Now, what will your third wish be?' "So I said, 'For my third wish,' and I regret saying this now, 'I'd like half my head to be a big orange.'" | |
Joke by monkeyman, in Jokes with no home > Genie - Tagged genie , wishes , orange , money - Current Score: 32 - Added: 9 months ago
| Happy New Year everyone. Best get it out of the way a day early, because if Sickipedia's anything like the phone companies, you wont be able to say it until 4 in the bastard morning. | |
Joke by denton, in Jokes with no home > New Years Eve - Tagged new year , o2 , orange , tmobile , shit , network - Current Score: 10 - Added: 1 week ago
| What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot. | |
Joke by mycockisbiggerthanyours, in Jokes with no home > Animals - Tagged orange , carrot , parrot - Current Score: 9 - Added: 1 year ago
| I find having sex is like peeling an orange, it's best to get both thumbs in as quickly as possible and look away to avoid getting hit in the eye with juices. | |
Joke by greenflash, in Sex and shit > Sex - Tagged sex , orange - Current Score: 7 - Added: 4 hours ago
| What's the difference between an apple and an orange. You don't hear of too many apple bastards. | |
Joke by drumchapelbhoy, in Jokes with no home > Rangers - Tagged sectarian , protestant , apple , orange , rangers , loyalists - Current Score: 4 - Added: 6 months ago
| I see that in the paralympics they have different races depending on how servere your disability. Some races for the seriously retarded and some races for people who just want a orange badge for their car. | |
Joke by richdc, in Illness and mortality > Disability - Tagged paralympics , orange , badge , car - Current Score: 4 - Added: 4 months ago
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