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| Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day. "Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint and we're Jewish," she asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a Valentine?" Melissa's father thinks a bit, then says, "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a Valentine to?" "Osama Bin Laden," she says. "Why Osama Bin Laden?" her father asks in shock. "Well," she says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give Osama a Valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent Valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore." Her father's heart swells and he looks at his daughter with newfound pride. "Melissa, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard." "I know," Melissa says, "and once that gets him out in the open, the army could blow the hell out of him." |    |
Joke by gangrath, in Celebrity and news events > Osama Bin Laden - Tagged osama , love , valentine - Current Score: 36 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| Osama Bin Laden is fed up with hiding in caves. He's contacted a public relations agency who promised him that, in return for spending a few years in jail, all his fucked-up terrorism will be forgiven, he'll be made a world hero, given his own country to rule, which will be populated by the people he once killed, and he can steal all of their hard-earned possessions. Well, it worked for Nelson Mandela. | |
Joke by julian999, in Religion and racism > Taliban - Tagged osama , mandela , nelson , terrorist - Current Score: 34 - Added: 5 months, 2 days ago
| Osama bin laden has appeared on tv this morning to quell rumour of his death. to prove that the appearence was not pre recorded bin laden stated that he had "watched the football on saturday and Newcastle were crap!" The US and UK government officals have dismissed the tape saying the recording could have been made any time over the past 10 years | |
Joke by Guest, in Jokes with no home > Football - Tagged osama , bin , laden , newcastle - Current Score: 26 - Added: 9 months, 7 days ago
| What's all the fuss with finding Osama Bin Laden? Give his name to the Child Support Agency.......they will fucking find him. Cunts. | |
Joke by garrygwizz, in Celebrity and news events > 9/11 - Tagged osama , bin , csa , cunts - Current Score: 20 - Added: 3 weeks ago
| Great news that the teacher at the centre of the teddy bear row in Sudan, Gillian Gibbons, has been pardoned and freed. She can't wait to get home to her pet dog, Saddam, and her cat, Osama. | |
Joke by Guest, in Celebrity and news events > Teddy Bear Mohammed - Tagged sudan , teddy , muslim , osama , saddam , mohammed - Current Score: 17 - Added: 1 year ago
| A survey was taken in America. Apparantly Osama Bin Laden is more famous than Michael Jackson. Yeah, I suppose, but he puts a lot less effort into his videos doesn't he? Although it'd really freak the Americans out if he just threw in a moonwalk now and again. | |
Joke by dandan, in Religion and racism > Americans - Tagged america , survey , osama , bin laden , michael , jackson , moonwalk , video , frankie boyle - Current Score: 14 - Added: 5 months ago
| What did Osama Bin Laden cook on Iron Chef? Big Apple Crumble. | |
Joke by coathanger, in Celebrity and news events > 9/11 - Tagged 9/11 , wtc , osama bin laden , osama , new york - Current Score: 7 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| Have you ever wondered what happens when a foreigner is caught by a speed camera? Where do they send the fine too? The address where his licence is issued- in Poland, Pakistan or South Africa? Fuck that bollocks. So next time I'm caught speeding, I'm going to send the form back saying it was actually Osama Bin Laden who was driving- let them track that fucker down with a 40 quid fine and three points. | |
Joke by bizlop, in Celebrity and news events > Osama Bin Laden - Tagged speeding , cars , cameras , gatzo , osama , afganistan - Current Score: 2 - Added: 5 months, 22 days ago
| 'Barack Hussein Obama' is an anagram of 'Osama Bin Laden'. Nearly. If you're dyslexic... or American | |
Joke by discostu, in Celebrity and news events > Barack Obama - Tagged osama , barack , dyslexia - Current Score: -1 - Added: 4 weeks ago
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