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| Seven Englishman and an Irishman are in a rape line up.... The victim walks in and Paddy steps forward and shouts "Thats her, the miserable frigid fucker"!!!! |    |
Joke by ht, in Religion and racism > Irish - Tagged paddy , irish , rape - Current Score: 216 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| Paddy is being interviewed for a job in the Metropolitan Police Department, "Paddy....you are undercover....it's the middle of the night....your cover is blown and you're being chased by a car full of terrorists at 80 mph.....what should you do?" "Uhhh......90 mph" said Paddy. | |
Joke by garrygwizz, in Religion and racism > Irish - Tagged paddy , terrorists , car - Current Score: 186 - Added: 2 months ago
| Paddy takes his new wife home on his wedding night. She lies on the bed, spread-eagled, naked, and says, "Paddy....you know what I want....." "Yeah....the whole fucking bed by the looks of it!" | |
Joke by garrygwizz, in Sex and shit > Sex - Tagged paddy , sex , irish , wedding - Current Score: 177 - Added: 8 months ago
| Two Irishmen are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death. They are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden....... 'Hey Paddy, do you smell what I smell. It's bacon - I'm sure of it.' 'Yes, Mick, it smells like bacon to me.' So, with renewed strength, they struggle up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon. There's raw bacon, dripping with moisture, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon... every imaginable kind of cured pig meat. 'Paddy, paddy we're saved. It is a bacon tree.' 'Mick, are you sure it's not a mirage? We are in the desert, don't forget.' 'Paddy, when did you ever hear of a mirage that smell like bacon? It's no mirage, it's a bacon tree.' And, with that, Mick races towards the tree. He gets to within five metres, Paddy following closely behind, when, all of a sudden, a machine gun opens up and Mick is cut down in his tracks. It is clear he is mortally wounded but, a true friend that he is, he manages to warn Paddy with his dying breath. 'Paddy... go back man, you was right it's not a bacon tree.' 'Mick, Mick ... what the fuck is it?' 'Paddy... its not a bacon tree... it's... it's... it's... it's a Ham Bush.' | |
Joke by pornstar, in Religion and racism > Irish - Tagged bacon , paddy , irish , tree , ham bush , desert - Current Score: 169 - Added: 8 months ago
| Abdul and Paddy are begging outside a railway station. Abdul has a Mercedes, a large house and is loaded, Paddy has fuck all. Abdul's begging hat is overflowing with with numerous notes but Paddy has just a few coppers in his. "How do you do it?" asks Paddy. "Look at your sign," says Abdul. Paddy's sign reads "Out of work, wife and 6 kids to support, please help." Paddy then looks at Abdul's sign, which says "I only need another £20 to get back to Pakistan." | |
Joke by CUTTSY, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged abdul , paddy , railway , notes , begging - Current Score: 165 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| Paddy was sitting on a bus when a young blonde started breast feeding her baby. "Come on, eat it all up or I'm going to give it to that man over there," she said. Ten minutes later she again tried to feed the baby. "Come on.....or mummy is going to give it to that man over there," she said. Paddy just carried on reading his newspaper. Another ten minutes goes by and the blonde picks the baby up again. "Oh for fuck's sake," says Paddy, "make your fucking mind up - I was supposed to have got off three stops ago." | |
Joke by garrygwizz, in Religion and racism > Irish - Tagged paddy , breast , feed , blond , bus - Current Score: 142 - Added: 1 month ago
| Patrick, who was on holiday from Ireland on Bondi beach, couldn't seem to make it with any of the girls. So he asked the local lifeguard for some advice. "Mate, it's obvious," says the lifeguard, "You're wearing them old baggy swimming trunks that make ya look like an old geezer. They're years outta style. Your best bet is to grab yourself a pair of Speedos - about two sizes too small and drop a fist-sized potato down inside 'em. I'm tellin' ya mate...you'll have all the babes ya want!" The following weekend, Patrick hits the beach with his new tight Speedos, and his fist-sized potato. Everybody on the beach was disgusted as he walked by, covering their faces, turning away, and laughing, looking sick! So Patrick went back to the lifeguard again and asked him, "What's wrong now?" "JAHEESUS!" said the lifeguard. "Mate, the potato goes in front!" | |
Joke by andino, in Sex and shit > Shit - Tagged paddy , beach , potato , shit - Current Score: 128 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| Billy stops Paddy in Dublin and asks for the quickest way to Cork. Paddy says, "Are you on foot or in the car?" Billy says, "In the car." Paddy says, "That's the quickest way." | |
Joke by CUTTSY, in Religion and racism > Irish - Tagged englishman , paddy , dublin , car , quickest - Current Score: 126 - Added: 1 year ago
| Paddy asks Murphy if he wants any fags when he goes on his holidays. Murphy says "Yeah, cheers mate get me 200 Bensons." Two weeks later Paddy comes home, sees Murphy in the pub and says, "I got your fags, you owe me sixty-eight quid." "For fuck's sake," said Murphy, "where did you go on holiday?" Paddy says, "Butlins." | |
Joke by Nimrod, in Religion and racism > Irish - Tagged irish , fags , butlins , paddy - Current Score: 125 - Added: 7 months ago
| Paddy took his chainsaw back into B&Q and says to the bloke in dungarees "You told me this chainsaw would cut one hundred trees down in a day, well today its only cut fifty." So the bloke gets the chainsaw and pulls the start up cord and it goes 'brrrrrrrrrrrrrrr', and Paddy says "What's that fuckin' noise?" | |
Joke by pornstar, in Religion and racism > Irish - Tagged paddy , chainsaw , b&q , dungarees , cord - Current Score: 124 - Added: 7 months ago
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