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| What's green and smells like yellow paint? Green Paint. |    |
Joke by DDJ, in Jokes with no home > One Liners - Tagged one-liners , paint , yellow , green - Current Score: 302 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? It depends how hard you throw them. | |
Joke by We Are The Lemon, in Illness and mortality > Dead Babies - Tagged wall , paint , red , throw , dead , baby , dead baby - Current Score: 100 - Added: 1 year, 11 months ago
| A guy meets a hooker in a bar. She says, "This is your lucky night. I've got a special game for you. I'll do absolutely anything you want for £300, as long as you can say it in three words." The guy replies, "Hey, why not?". He pulls his wallet out of his pocket, and one at a time lays six fifty pound notes on the bar and says slowly: "Paint... My... House." | |
Joke by Holmesie, in Sex and shit > Prostitution - Tagged hooker , paint , house - Current Score: 91 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| What's yellow and does the dishes? My nigger, and I'll paint him whatever colour I like. | |
Joke by Guest, in Religion and racism > Irish - Tagged slave , black , racist , lawn , paint - Current Score: 36 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| A Glaswegian staggers home from the pub pissed one night, with three cans of paint. He immediately sets about painting the living-room red, blue and white. His wife eventually comes downstairs and says, "For fuck's sake, you think more of Rangers than you think of me!" He says, "Honey, I think more of fucking Celtic than I do of you!" | |
Joke by the peter tobin fan club, in Religion and racism > Scottish - Tagged glaswegian , celtic , drunk , wife , sectarianism , paint , drinking paint is good for you by the way - Current Score: 35 - Added: 7 months, 24 days ago
| Got some spastic decorators in the other day. Well, the walls needed a lick of paint. | |
Joke by Guest, in Illness and mortality > Disability - Tagged spastic , paint - Current Score: 27 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| Was shagging the wife last night and i asked her to moan a bit to get me excited. So she said the ceiling needs painting. | |
Joke by jokeywokey, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged wife , moan , ceiling , paint - Current Score: 26 - Added: 3 months, 6 days ago
| My uncle died the other day - he drank a bottle of varnish. The doctor said he had a terrible end, but a lovely finish. | |
Joke by lardboy, in Illness and mortality > Dead - Tagged uncle , varnish , doctor , johnstones , paint - Current Score: 19 - Added: 8 months, 19 days ago
| I was sat in my front lounge last night when my ex drove past and threw a can of paint through my window. I hate it when women get emulsional. | |
Joke by Fles, in Jokes with no home > Ex - Tagged ex , paint , emotional - Current Score: 19 - Added: 2 months, 8 days ago
| Did you hear about the new paint, called Blonde paint? It's not very bright, but it spreads easy. | |
Joke by Badvirus, in Sex and shit > Sex - Tagged blonde , paint , spreads - Current Score: 16 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
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