Sorted by: Highest Scoring | Lowest Scoring | Newest | Oldest
Showing all jokes.
| A beautiful woman is lying in a hospital bed about to undergo minor surgery. Soon after she is wheeled into the corridor by a nurse, then left alone. While the nurse is away, a young man in a white coat approaches the girl, takes the sheets away and starts examining her naked body. He walks away and talks to another man in a white coat. The second man comes over and starts examining her. When a third man comes over and begins to examine her body, the girl begins to grow impatient. "All of this examining is great, you guys are really thorough," she says. "But when will I be having my operation?" The first man shrugs his shoulders. "Beats me. We're just painting the landing." |    |
Joke by stopher, in Jokes with no home > Job - Tagged woman , corridor , coat , painting - Current Score: 42 - Added: 1 year ago
| I was cleaning out the attic the other day and you know what I found? A Stradivarius and a Rembrandt! Unfortunately, though, Stradivarius was a shit painter, and Rembrandt knew fuck-all about making violins. | |
Joke by gartnavel, in Jokes with no home > Antiques - Tagged painting , violin , instrument , attic , found , antiques - Current Score: 23 - Added: 1 month, 9 days ago
| This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is ok. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket and a fur coat on. She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and it said "For best results, put on two coats." | |
Joke by lanttans, in Celebrity and news events > viagra - Tagged blondes , painting , two coats - Current Score: 15 - Added: 1 year ago
| 2 blondes were decorating a house. One was painting the ceiling while the other painted the walls. After a while, the one painting the walls said, "Have you got a good grip on your brush?" "Yes" came the reply. "Well hold on tight then because I'm taking away the ladder." | |
Joke by superhorse, in Celebrity and news events > viagra - Tagged blonde , painting , ladder , stupid - Current Score: 6 - Added: 1 year ago
| Recently a man in Paris nearly got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre. However, after planning the crime, getting in and out past security, he was captured only 2 blocks away when his Renault van ran out of petrol. When asked how he could devise such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied: "I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh." | |
Joke by bicycle day, in Religion and racism > French - Tagged french , painting , louvre , wanker , dumbass , idiot - Current Score: 0 - Added: 3 months, 25 days ago
Showing all jokes.
Custurd spent 0.39ms doing 7 queries and 0.01s processing. She's 1.19% angry.
Sickipedia v2.7 - a cr3ative media® project. © '05-09 Rob Manuel