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| Karen lost her husband almost four years ago and still hasn't gotten out of her mourning stage. Her daughter is constantly calling her and urging her to get back into the world. Finally, Karen says she'd go out, but didn't know anyone. Her daughter immediately replies: "Mom! I have someone for you to meet." Well, it was an immediate hit. They took to one another and after dating for six weeks, he asks her to join him for a weekend in the Catskills. Their first night there, she undresses as he does. There she stood nude except for a pair of black lacy panties, he in his birthday suit. Looking at her he asks: "Why the black panties?" She replies: "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down there I am still in mourning." He knows he's not getting lucky that night. The following night the same scenario. She's standing there with the black panties on, and he is in his birthday suit ... except that he is wearing a black condom. She looks at him and asks: "What's with this ... a black condom?" He replies: "I want to offer my deepest condolences." |    |
Joke by niggers out, in Sex and shit > Marriage - Tagged black , condom , wife , sex , fuck , panties - Current Score: 88 - Added: 9 months, 14 days ago
| Red riding hood was walking through the forest when all of a sudden the big bad wolf jumped out and said "Take your blouse off so I can suck your tits!". Red riding hood pulls down her knickers lies on the ground and says "Fuck off, eat me like the book fuckin says!!" | |
Joke by welshmadman, in Sex and shit > Little Red Riding Hood - Tagged pussy , licking , fanny , cunt , red , riding , hood , wolf , funny , dirty , knickers , panties - Current Score: 61 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. "In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "you must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven." The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle, he said." You may pass through the pearly gates Saint Peter said. The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells." Saint Peter said you may pass through the pearly gates. The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties. St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?" The man replied, "These are Carol's." | |
Joke by Token, in Religion and racism > Christianity - Tagged chrismas , peter , lighter , keys , panties - Current Score: 58 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| Three blokes go to a strip club, two English blokes and a Scottish chap. After being seated at a table near the front, this sexy blonde girl comes over and starts dancing on their table. After a couple of minutes, the stripper has taken off everything apart from her bra and panties. When she takes off her bra, the first English bloke licks a twenty pound note and slaps it to her right arse cheek, next the second English man licks a twenty pound note and slaps it to her left arse cheek. Then she takes off her panties and the Scottish bloke gets his credit card, swipes her arse and takes the fuckin' forty quid! | |
Joke by pornstar, in Religion and racism > Scottish - Tagged strip , english , scottish , panties , twenty , pound , note , credit , card , swipe , table , bra , blonde - Current Score: 42 - Added: 4 months, 2 days ago
| Call me old fashioned, but I prefer traditional cotton panties to a thong. There's so much more to sniff. | |
Joke by itchyanus, in Sex and shit > Panties - Tagged panties , thong , knickers , sniff - Current Score: 29 - Added: 4 months, 7 days ago
| Paddy & Murphy worked together and both were laid off, so they went to the unemployment office. Asked his occupation, Paddy said, "Panty Stitcher. I sew the elastic onto ladies cotton panties." The clerk looked up panty stitcher and found it classified as unskilled labor, so she gave him seventy-five pounds a week employment pay. Murphy was asked his occupation. "Diesel fitter" he replied. Since diesel fitter was a skilled job, the clerk gave Murphy one hundred and fifty pounds a week. When Paddy found out, he was furious. He stormed back into the office to find out why his friend and co-worker was collecting double his pay. The clerk explained, "Panty stichers are unskilled and diesel fitters are skilled labour." "What skill?" yelled Paddy. "I sew the elastic on the panties, Murphy puts them over his head and says, 'yah, diesel fitter.'" | |
Joke by how-low-can-you-get, in Religion and racism > Irish - Tagged panties , diesel - Current Score: 24 - Added: 4 months, 26 days ago
| The new nun goes to her first confession and tells the priest that she has a terrible secret. She says, "Father, I forgot to put any knickers on today and am naked under my robe." The priest says, "Bless you, my child. Say five Hail Marys, five Our Fathers, and do five cartwheels on your way to the altar." | |
Joke by fatuous_sunbeam, in Religion and racism > Nuns - Tagged knickers , panties , secret , confession , altar - Current Score: 23 - Added: 5 months, 7 days ago
| I know what Victoria's Secret really is. The secret is that no-one over 35 can fit into their panties. | |
Joke by bicycle day, in Sex and shit > Victorias Secret - Tagged victorias secret , fat women , panties - Current Score: 21 - Added: 3 months, 24 days ago
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