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| A girl is watching her father shower. She points to his penis and says, "Daddy, when will I get one of those?" He looks at his watch and says, "When your mother leaves for work!" |    |
Joke by sickfuck, in Sex and shit > Incest - Tagged incest , paedo , paedophilia , father , parents , child - Current Score: 457 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| The government have published a guide for parents that will help them spot the tell- tale signs that their son is a gang member. I could save them a lot of money here by just asking the parents one question: "Is your son black?" | |
Joke by justincider, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged government , guide , parents , telltale , gang , member , money - Current Score: 255 - Added: 2 months, 29 days ago
| It's really embarrassing when you see your parents nude. Especially when you're watching the porn channel with your mates. | |
Joke by Aspen, in Sex and shit > Nude - Tagged nude , naked , parents , porn - Current Score: 160 - Added: 3 weeks ago
| A husband and wife and their two sons are watching TV. She looks at her husband and winks at him, he gets the message and says, "Excuse us for a few minutes boys, we're going up to our room for a little while." Pretty soon one of the boys becomes curious, goes upstairs and sees the door to his parents bedroom is ajar. He peeks in for a few minutes, trots downstairs, gets his little brother and takes him up to peek into the bedroom. "Before you look in there," he says, "keep in mind this is the same woman who paddled our butts for sucking our thumbs." | |
Joke by ht, in Sex and shit > Parents - Tagged parents , suck , thumb - Current Score: 97 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. "Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack." The young man makes his purchase and leaves. Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes. The girl leans over to him and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person." The boy leans over to her and whispers, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist." | |
Joke by mickle, in Sex and shit > Virgin - Tagged sex , parents , condoms , pharmacy - Current Score: 96 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| What's the worst thing about setting your cooker on fire? Telling her parents. | |
Joke by The Wolf, in Sex and shit > Domestic Violence - Tagged wife , cooker , fire , parents , woman - Current Score: 95 - Added: 7 months, 13 days ago
| When I look at an emo, I don't see one person, I see two disappointed parents. | |
Joke by albinobob123, in Religion and racism > Emo - Tagged emo , parents , jimmy carr - Current Score: 89 - Added: 6 months, 28 days ago
| When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. | |
Joke by smashedash, in Jokes with no home > Parenting - Tagged parents , child , moving , rodney dangerfield - Current Score: 87 - Added: 5 months, 1 day ago
| I distinctly remember one time my parents talking to me down the phone and saying, “if we throw cash away at you now, you’ll never know the value of money.” But I still think it would’ve been nice for them to pay that ransom. | |
Joke by ferret, in Jokes with no home > Real Quotes - Tagged parents , cheap , ransom , terrorists - Current Score: 81 - Added: 1 week ago
| A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. In fact, he is so proud of himself and his ability to impregnate that he starts referring to his wife as "Mother of Six" despite her constant objections. One night, they get a chance to leave the kids behind with a sitter and go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home, Mother of Six?" His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four." | |
Joke by efcbluenose, in Sex and shit > Babies - Tagged cheating , husband , wife , parents , adultary - Current Score: 76 - Added: 10 months, 13 days ago
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