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| I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted, "Oi, what's your disability?" I said, "Tourettes! Now fuck off you cunt!" |    |
Joke by ht, in Illness and mortality > Tourettes - Tagged disability , cunt , traffic , tourettes , warden , disabled , shouted , fuck , fuck off , parking , space - Current Score: 1297 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| Women are like parking spaces, normally all the good ones are taken. So, occasionally, when no one's looking, you have to stick it in a disabled one. | |
Joke by eatmeat, in Sex and shit > Adultery - Tagged women , disabled , parking - Current Score: 1062 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| I went to the store the other day, I was only in there for about 5 minutes. When I came out there was a policeman writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said, 'Come on buddy, how about giving a guy a break?' He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil necked jerk off. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having bald tires! So I called him a horse’s arse, he finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket!! This went on for about 20 minutes, the more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. I could only imagine what the owner of the car will think when he sees all the tickets. | |
Joke by joecorby, in Jokes with no home > Police - Tagged parking , tickets , injustice , anger , cars , store - Current Score: 293 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| I hate people who park in disabled parking spaces... ...like mongs, paraplegics and spazzies. | |
Joke by ReigatePen, in Illness and mortality > Disability - Tagged disability , parking , disabled parking space - Current Score: 126 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| Am I on my own in wondering why there are disabled parking bays at the ice skating rink? I would be promoted if I worked at the benefit fraud office. | |
Joke by geemack, in Jokes with no home > Disabled - Tagged parking , parking bays , ice skating , benefit fraud - Current Score: 118 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| Some tips for 4x4 drivers. 1. Don't bother investing in a personal number plate; No-one gives a fuck what your name is. 2. Those little stalks that are next to the steering wheel are "indicators." Use them occasionally. 3. Putting a "Princess on Board" sticker isn't cool, especially if the princess in question is Diana. She must really smell by now. 4. "Parent and Child" spaces aren't really for you if your child is 19, even if she weighs as many stone. 5. When parking, try to park in what we call "parking spaces". 6. Be sure to put a "Greenpeace" or a "Save the Earth" sticker on your bumper. Other drivers will enjoy the irony, even if you don't. 7. When people make "wanker" signs at you, it's because you are a wanker. Learn to live with it. | |
Joke by antibagdave, in Jokes with no home > Cars - Tagged car , 4x4 , wankers , princess , diana , wanker , greenpeace , parent , child , parking - Current Score: 114 - Added: 5 months, 2 days ago
| You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice. | |
Joke by trenchcoat, in Jokes with no home > Cars - Tagged driving , fine , parking , tommy cooper - Current Score: 92 - Added: 10 months, 15 days ago
| Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said,"Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up Irish Whiskey" Miraculously, a parking place appeared. Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one." | |
Joke by Token, in Religion and racism > Irish - Tagged paddy , meeting , parking , mass - Current Score: 86 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| I got a parking ticket yesterday for parking in a spot with a wheelchair on it. The police must have heard the guy screaming. | |
Joke by DumbShit, in Jokes with no home > Miscellaneous - Tagged parking , wheelchair - Current Score: 56 - Added: 2 months ago
| I was at that newly-built supermarket yesterday, and there was hundreds of disabled spaces. I should have known parking costs an arm and a leg these days. | |
Joke by SmithersJones87, in Illness and mortality > Disability - Tagged disability , parking - Current Score: 25 - Added: 7 months, 20 days ago
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